I recently decided to go seven days without using social media – for financial reasons and not due to severe head trauma. Believe it or not, I actually lived to tell about it (though I’m still suffering from PTSD).

Not only did I live to tell about it, but I also wrote about it for ITworld.com. Take a look-see and hopefully you’ll get a few laughs (and maybe even a tear or two) out of my suffering. You’re welcome!

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My latest IT Underworld cartoon for ITWorld.com.

See also:
Taliban join the Twitter revolution

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My latest IT Underworld cartoon for ITWorld.com.

See also: Twitter turns 5, but how will it survive?

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I had not one but two Halloween cartoons published last week!

First was my latest IT Underworld cartoon for ITWorld.com.

Second was my latest for NPR‘s All Tech Considered Blog…

Hmmm, some of those trick-or-treaters really get around…

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My latest IT Underworld cartoon for ITWorld.com. I draw a new one every week! That’s just how I roll.

Plus – I’ve colorized my first IT Underworld cartoon!

Related reading: At long last, Twitter starts serving up ads

Tags: advertising, Apple, cartoon, Dell, eBay, Google, hot dogs, Intel, Master Card, NASCAR, Oscar Mayer, Sony, Twitter, Visa

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• survived family dinner. the bad news: the girls left the table 3 times to fart. the good news: the girls left the table 3 times to fart. #
• enjoying the defensive struggle going on in arizona. #
• more bad news for the economy: the unemployment rate is about to go up by neil rackers. #cardinals #
• we took down all the christmas gear today; it's always a little sad when i put away my red thong. #
• wow – what an ending to the cardinals-packers game. i think a certain cardinals kicker owes a certain cardinals linebacker a blow. #
• how in the hell is it monday again already? i blame the blue dogs. #
• just ate a piece of fruit, which proves that i'm working too hard to think straight. #
• this concludes the lunch portion of the day. pardon me whilst i observe a moment of silence. #
• dear lord: please let me survive these next 2 weeks without going insane. let me know if i should also ask this of allah and/or tom cruise. #
• looks like I picked the right week to not quit drinking. #

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• so far not so good for chad ochodumbass and his fellow bungles. #
• enjoying a few fingers of this: http://tinyurl.com/yjpcau5 #
• the poor old bungles. losers again. #
• the poor bengals will never be winners with those god awful uniforms. #
• preparing a heaping plate of cheese fries for cowboys-eagles – no, wait, i'm sorry, that's what jessica simpson is doing. #
• the first topless house cleaning of 2010 is on! #
• it's day two of wild card weekend in the NFL. i am doing what comes naturally to a man on these days: roasting a turkey. #
• gee, the patriots look sharp! #
• is it too late for the patriots to get in on the pete carroll bidding? #
• if i'm john harbaugh i wouldn't be expecting a hand shake from BB after this game. bill will probably be heading into the locker room soon. #
• the 10 year old clogged her first toilet of 2010 today. #
• attention male neighbors of mine: that empty NAIL SALON toy box out with the trash was for my 10 year old daughter. honest. #

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• happy hour is here! i am drinking beer, so i am happy! #
• we've ordered food from a foreign country! hint: it's not part of NAFTA or the EU. #
• hey – my IT Underworld toon made the front page of Cartoon Saturday on Open Salon! http://open.salon.com/ #
• NFL playoffs starting soon so i'm doing what most guys before football: preparing a marinade. #
• <— back by popular demand, it's my drinking avatar! let the games begin! #

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• wait – new jersey won't pass a gay marriage bill? jersey shore has given me the wrong impression that state. it seems so enlightened on TV. #
• I think I'm getting a cold, so I may take nyquil for non-recreational reasons tonight. #
• i hear the weather in new orleans is lovely in early february. i will find out for myself in a few weeks! time to buy some beads. #
• who's feeling it? i'm feeling it! could also just be gas. #
• having a strong urge to gouge my eyes out because of work. that's normal, right? #

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• i need a new plan – and possibly a new liver. #
• hmm, time now for tea or wine? ha – dumb question. it's time for scotch. #
• jimmy fallon needs WGA writers for this? "Randy Johnson is retiring from baseball… Fans wish he’d take more time to mullet over." #
• not having to write topical jokes everyday is making me lose touch with the world. have jon and kate had any more kids? #
• ok, so my town says that i can dispose of medical waste in my trash, at least until july. good to know, you know, just in case. #
• a man was arrested for running naked near the white house on wednesday. at least they think it was a man; it was pretty cold out. #
• dear MBTA: if the 4:49 train each night is going to continue to be 10 minutes late, can you just change the official departure time to 4:59? #

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• based on the number of women wearing uggs these days I'd say that the government needs to raise the terror alert level a notch or three. #
• had dinner and drinks with a friend tonight and I was clearly drunk as a skunk cause I remember something about ordering a veggie burger. #
• my oatmeal was too dry this morning. sadly, that should be my most exciting update of the day. #
• well, so far wednesdays in 2010 make me just as gassy as wednesdays in 2009. #
• looks like the office cleaning company has resolved to no longer vacuum in 2010. at least somebody is sticking to their resolutions. #

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• that 10 day old leftover meat i ate last night? well, there's still some left – and now it's 11 days old. pray for me. #
• mrs chumworth just gave the kids ice cream. anything to keep their yappers shut. #
• just turned on the fiesta bowl, took one look at the god-awful uniforms on both sides and immediately changed the channel. #
• i just tuned back into the fiesta bowl and was immediately hit with an ad for idaho potatoes. great – more propaganda from big potato. #
• back on the train to work. there goes new year's resolution number one. #
• my toes are cold. note to self: at next job review demand personal foot warming assistant. #
• can't recall if i posted this already: ALL of the jokes i submitted to @jimmyfallon are now up here: http://tinyurl.com/yb7ykoq #
• dang – forgot my watch this morning. guess i'll have to go home and get it. back in three hours. #
• an old friend has flown in all the from hawaii to buy me dinner and drinks tonight! you know who you are – thanks in advance! #
• another day, another invitation to come and speak at harvard about comedy writing. yawn. #
• heading into kenmore square to meet friend and drink beer. hopefully there isn't a red sox – or bruins – game at Fenway tonight. #

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• just got back home to find that the world's greatest neighbor had plowed my driveway and shoveled my driveway. praise jeebus! #
• about to eat 10 day old leftover meat. what could possibly go wrong? #
• whew – the toughest part of coming back from florida is adjusting to the time change. time for bed! #
• on the train to work. someone please wake me up from this nightmare. #
• dave barry: still as laugh-out-loud-funny as ever: http://tinyurl.com/y9zlx5k #
• back at work for 73 minutes and i'm ready for another long break. #
• putting on music; going to happy place. #
• RR new year's IT Underworld toon is up! Ten years after Y2K: We're finally compliant: http://bit.ly/8c0juC #
• my scale told me this morning in no uncertain terms that it's time to cut back on the beer. message received: time for a new scale. #
• realizing now that one huge perk of my previous place of employment was an ample supply of odd shaped bandages. #
• 65 across in today's Boston globe crossword: boner. #

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• the in-laws keep leaving messages to warn us about the snow back i'm Boston. they don't realize we cam pick up the Marconi signal in FLA. #
• we have officially finished all of the beer in the rental house. everything must go before tomorrow's departure! that just leaves the wine. #
• it's never a good sign when you're staying at a place and the book for guest comments has every other page torn out. #
• well, gotta take the family back north tomorrow. time to go cry myself to sleep. #
• time to leave the FLA and head back to the BOS. crap. #
• through security at jacksonville airport. flight to BOS delayed one hour. Now getting lunch; ordering something that won't make me gassy. #
• just ate a black bean burger instead of a real burger. just lost another 5% of manliness. #
• just ate a black bean burger instead of a real burger. just lost another 5% of manliness. there ain't much left. #
• the bad news: flight departure now delayed until 3:00. the good news: the steeler game is on here at the gate. not so bad. #
• looks like our plane is here. guess we really will have to go home. #
• we're on the plane! perfect. just in time for the second half of the steelers spanking the dolphins. #
• about to take off for BOS. starting to look forward to getting home to my own beer. #
• wheels down in Boston! based on what I see outside the window, I'm starting to question my decision to wear shorts for the flight home. #
• now playing baggage roulette at Logan airport. let's see if our luggage was on board… #

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• drinking beer, making tacos and playing the whole beastie boys catalog. this is what newly minted 40 year olds do on vacation. sad. #
• the 10 year old just clogged her first toilet in Florida. that's three states down, forty seven to go. #
• last full day in FLA, meaning last day for me to make an idiot of myself in the wetsuit. #
• on second thought, it's too cold for swimming today. I have delicate constitution, you know. #
• taking the kids to a nature preserve, which they will enjoy whether they like it or not. #
• we're hiking through a nature preserve which, unfortunately, doesn't seem to have a starbucks. #
• the kids are in the hot tub which is good cause if there's one thing that kids 10 and under need it's a long, relaxing soak. #

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• lighting fireworks on the beach! and drinking. #
• fireworks done! all digits still in place. time to put the kiddos to bed and for more booze. #
• the kids are almost in bed. once they are we pop open the champagne. after a few more drinks I'll be ready to moon 2009. adios, bitch. #
• we've busted out the bubbly and the beastie boys. things are getting wild in northern FLA. #
• look at me – staying up until the new year, like a kid. apparently, life does begin at 40! clearly I am drunk. #
• hey – it's 2010! whatever. let's get this year over with. #
• first workout of 2010 is in the books. still waiting on first attack of gas in 2010. shouldn't be long. #
• it's a rainy day here in FLA. may need to wear pants. dang. #
• new year's IT Underworld toon is up! Ten years after Y2K: We're finally compliant: http://bit.ly/8c0juC #
• once again I got some brilliant thinking done in the shower. with enough soap and water I could solve the problems in the mid east. #
• due to the rain in FLA we're gonna skip the swimming and take the kids bowling instead. I may still wear my wetsuit. #
• just took the kids bowling at the worst bowling alley ever. on the plus side, I was invited to join the PBA ( again). #

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• well, we just broke another item here at the rental house. our deposit is slowly but surely disappearing. time for another beer! #
• on the stairmaster. these butt cheeks won't tone themselves. #
• time for a shower then me and the boys are heading out to pick up new years eve fireworks! another reason to love the FLA. #
• despite a dip in the ocean yesterday, my iPhone earbuds still work! well, one bud works, the other bud and the volume control not so much. #
• you know you've bought some fireworks when the guy selling them (at a place called extreme fireworks) says "whoa – you guys are serious." #
• time for one last dip in the ocean for 2009. the wet suit is on again! #
• going for a beach walk. I always like to center myself before commencing with the beer drinking. #
• beach walk called off. instead, i'm watching spongebob with seven little kids. #
• new year's eve beer drinking has begun! the goal now: get the kids in bed as soon as possible. #

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• 6:21pm and I have not yet had a beer. calling 911 now. #
• just tangled with the stairmaster – while watching Kung Fu Panda. life could be worse. #
• here's what's on the docket for today: take the kids to the ripley's believe it or not museum (freaks!) then swimming then beer drinking! #
• about to put on the wet suit once again to go frolic on the ocean like an idiot. #
• I am naked and briney! time for a shower – then beer. #
• is there a sadder sight than three 40 year old guys frolicking in wet suits in the surf? probably, but I'm not sure what. #
• dang, just realized I went into the ocean with my iPhone earbuds in the pocket of my swim suit. time for new ones. #

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• time to work off last night's beer and cake. my ass feels a bit chunky. #
• done sweating! now time for a donut. #
• I'm back in the wet suit! ready to flop around in the cold ocean. #
• giving the girls a vacation beat down in clue. I show no mercy. #
• loading up on coffee before tapping beer, i.e. living the life! #

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• wait – the jets beat the colts?! oh come on now… #
• feels wrong to have to turn on the heat in Florida. #
• drinking coffee in florida. seems to taste the same here. #
• look at me exercising on vacation. anything to keep those beer calories off my hips. #
• about to put on a wet suit for the first time. the line forms to the right, ladies. #
• I shouldn't have bought mrs chumworth that flip video camera for christmas. now there's a video of me in a wet suit that must be deleted. #
• wow – just spent $430 at the winn dixie on food and booze. that oughta hold us until wednesday. #
• we've been able to score to good here in FLA: harpoon, dogfish head, etc. my complements to the governor! #

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• heading out of town first thing tomorrow with the family. flying with two little kids – what could go wrong? #
• at Logan airport waiting to depart for FLA! nipples hard – and not just because of the chill. #
• the wife planned a surprise trip to FLA for us because I'm turning a certain age that ends in zero and that's where you go when you're old. #
• there's a woman on the plane bitching about screaming kids on the flight. she's making far more noise than any kid. shut up, lady. #
• the chumworths have arrived in Florida! you've been warned… #
• now that we're in Florida, breakfast means two words: waffle house! #
• I've been hornswoggled by the wife! we get to Florida to find friends have flown down to join us. beer me! #
• almost forgot – the steelers spanked the ravens! nice job boys! #

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• the girls were asking to play rockband beatles at 7:30 this morning. i said no; it's for their own safety, otherwise mama might kill them. #
• the girls are arguing over which is the better restaurant: chiles or the 99. they both serve beer so i'm neutral. #
• heading out to family meal at a restaurant. those who don't learn from the past…etc. #
• RR New IT Underworld toon is up! Christmas Eve in the North Pole IT department http://bit.ly/8jgXaD #

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• santa chumworth has moved from beer to wine. he needs a designated sleigh driver. #
• the 7 year old just poured a glass of fat free milk for santa. i suggested a beer but she didn't listen. #
• watching the empire strikes back. it's easy to forget that at one time warp speed, talking droids and wookies were all fiction. #
• well, the kids are in bed and the presents are wrapped and under the tree. just a few hours now until the kids are up and disappointed. #
• seven words: mrs chumworth got a snuggie for christmas. lucky gal! #
• presents opened – check. tears shed – check. standard chrismas day activities accomplished – check. #
• grandma chumworth and aunt chumworth have outfitted us with a wii – and rockband beatles. good lord. #
• time for the big Christmas meal! we're having beer and … some sort of food. #

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• i just realized this is the first time in almost 10 years that i don't have a tv show to write jokes for… the thought is making me gassy. #
• it's 8:21pm and the kids are still up. calling 911… #
• working from home AND wearing pants. #
• nice job by the senate passing a health care reform bill. we're one step closer to letting me live a less healthy life! #
• the 7 year old is cranking the dave brubeck and the 10 year old is floating some stinky biscuits. family time! #
• New IT Underworld toon is up! Christmas Eve in the North Pole IT department http://bit.ly/8jgXaD #
• time to begin preliminary work on the christmas eve homemade pizza! #
• the best christmas present i ever got? easy. hands down, no question – stretch armstrong: http://tinyurl.com/azc3yw #
• the christmas eve pizza dough is rising! assembly will take place later after proper rise time. now drinking. #

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• we're almost out of A1 sauce. i'm resisting the urge to call 911. #
• this wine is making me thirsty – for more wine. #
• my flannel christmas tree boxer undershorts are clean! christmas has come early. #
• just ate fudge. good thing bikini season is a few months away. #
• Tiger Woods has been voted the PGA Player of the Year. Here's the funny thing – it had nothing to do with his golf game. #
• ate oatmeal and wheat toast for breakfast. may as well start pricing a move to del boca vista. #
• forget healthcare – when is obama going to do something about bananas that don't peel easily? it's becoming an epidemic. #
• President Obama was interviewd by NPR today. Smart move because if there's one group that he needs to win over it's public radio listeners. #
• my kids keep asking me what i want for christmas and i keep saying "peace and quiet." they think i'm joking. #
• this was inevitable: just got word that @jimmyfallon will no longer take freelance submissions. i've been fired again! #
• attention gentlemen: those earmuffs that wrap around the back of your head look just as dumb as regular earmuffs. #

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• drinking wine from a very small glass, which makes me classy as hell. #
• i know he won a super bowl and all but eli manning still looks like a kid who got wedgied and stuffed into lockers regularly. #
• once obama finally wraps up health care reform, the next thing he has to overhaul is the "c'mon man" segment on MNF. #
• Susan Boyle is being considered to sing the theme song for the next Bond movie. Even better news: she's not being considered as a Bond girl. #
• here we go again. another day, another kick in the nuts. #
• RR New @ITUnderworld cartoon is up! The help desk finds religion in Android http://bit.ly/6aa3Pm #
• drinking tea which means i have obviously just given the hell up. #
• oooh – 4:20! time to roll. #

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• the chumworth family holiday cards and letter are ready to go! this year's letter is rated PG-13. just a heads up. #
• TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!!! i just wet myself. #steelers #
• wow – that was just about all i could say. wow. big ben does it again! i'll take it. #steelers #
• winter sucks. note to self: move closer to equator. #
• Jon and Kate Gosselin are officially divorced after 10 years of marriage. She gets custody of the kids, he gets custody of the babysitter. #
• if michael jackson were still alive i could make a joke out of this: White women have the highest ave life expectancy in the U.S. of 80.7. #
• New @ITUnderworld cartoon is up! The help desk finds religion in Android http://bit.ly/6aa3Pm #
• chewing gum in a fruitless attempt to look cool. perhaps i'd look cooler if it wasn't sugar free. #

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• uh oh – the kids are reading the family letter i wrote to send out with the holiday cards. i forgot they can read now. #
• watching the "diaper cleaner" episode of dirty jobs. in related news, i'm no longer hungry. #
• why do i always get congested on saturday night? #
• looks like just a few inches of snow out there – but enough to be annoying. mother nature can suck it. #
• mrs chumworth is boiling eggs. she's stealing my act. #
• trying to gird my loins to go outside and clear the driveway. although, to be honest, my loins are naturally pretty girded. #
• time to go make mother nature my bitch. #
• roasting a chicken, gonna watch the steelers-packers and pray for a miracle #
• hey look – TOUCHDOWN!!!! almost forgot what that's like. #steelers #
• we score again! yee-haw! the nips are getting hard – and not because of the cold. #steelers #
• WIDE RIGHT! eat cheese, packer fans! mmm, cheese. #steelers #

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• <—- here we go! #
• drinking beer and rubbing my facial hair. things are getting wild here… #
• big news: the local booze store is once again stocking dogfish head 60 minute IPA! praise jesus. #
• i'm making my own naughty and nice lists this year. so far, the naughty list is far longer. nice going, people. #
• watching elf yet again. never gets old. #
• chinese food is here! thank you people's republic! #
• ok, well, the chinese food seemed like a good idea at the time. now, not so much. #
• time to make the oatmeal. still living the dream. #
• almost time to start thinking about Christmas presents for the wife. almost. #
• survived both christmas AND grocery shopping. i deserve a beer or three. #
• supposedly it's going to snow tonight. luckily, we are well stocked with booze, coffee and nilla wafers. bring it on! #
• <— beer time! #
• waiting for the snow to start falling so i can give it the finger. #
• i cut myself shaving today. i won't say where, only that it's north of the equator. #
• just threatened the 7 year old with a time out if she doesn't quit farting. #

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• ooops – broke a wine glass. don't nobody tell mrs chumworth. #
• mrs chumworth was in the house for 5 minutes before the 7 year old blabbed about me breaking the wine glass. she's out of the will. #
• the holiday cards are here and the family holiday letter is written! this weekend we stuff and mail – and drink beer. #
• the commuter train smells like urine again. can't you people hold it? #
• Tiger Woods has recently been golfing at night. Golfing is good therapy since it's the thing he does best – well, the second best thing. #
• nine minutes until lunch o'clock. not that i'm counting down or anything. #
• with each email that i remove from my work inbox, my stomach hurts a little less. #
• i thought i was the only one… RT @DadGoneMad I'm going to take a drug test this morning. I'm pretty sure I'll test positive for AWESOME! #
• almost time to fly! and by "fly" i mean go home and drink beer. #
• dear friday: oh how I love you. unlike that annoying tease thursday, you put out. #

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• Even Santa Claus is now going green. This year for the first time, all the bad little kids will get clean burning coal in their stockings. #
• holy crap it is cold out there. i've been indoors for 30 minutes already and my boogers have yet to defrost. #
• i refuse to refer to a staff meeting as a "staffer," but that's just me. #
• just saw a guy on the street with toilet paper hanging out of his pants. it does happen. #
• mrs chumworth is out again tonight, leaving me to feed and care for offspring all by myself (i.e. punishing me). #

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• 10 days to christmas and the kids are getting desperate. the 7 year old wrote santa a real suck-up letter today. santa sees through that. #
• well, here's another day that's got a high probability of sucking. #
• Tiger Woods' wife has hired a divorce lawyer. This may be the best thing for Tiger – you know, getting divorced and settling down. #
• just learned that hawaii doesn't observe daylight savings time. right – why would they? it's not perfect enough there as it is? #
• i think i know which of santa's lists tiger woods is on this year… #

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• on the train to work and ready for my daily ass-kicking. let's get this over with. #
• Courtney Love lost custody of her 17-yr-old daughter after a long period of unstable conduct. It was a pretty long period – about 45 years. #
• 9:42 am and i'm ready to pack it in for the day. unfortunately, i still have so much of my magic yet to be worked today. sigh. #
• who needs a hug? not me. no way. well, maybe a quick one. #
• serenity now! or later. just sometime, please. #
• A Texas man was arrested for breaking into a house after police found him there taking a bath. He was charged with breaking & exfoliating. #

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• if you're trying to decide what to get me for christmas, a lobotomy would be good. #
• got a very strong 8 1/2 hours of sleep last night! i am fresh as a daisy and ready to be bitch-slapped by monday. #
• The Tiger Woods scandal will now be adapted into an adult film. They say it'll be pretty to true to the real story – but less dirty. #
• 8 1/2 hours of refreshing sunday night sleep have already been undone by four hours of monday morning. thanks, monday. #
• There are only 10 more shopping days until Christmas! Or, for you guys, only nine more procrastinating days. #
• christmas shopping tip for you fellas to make it as quick as possible: always shop with a full bladder. you'll be done in no time. #
• from @SportsGuy33: the 12 % Theory: every childbirth makes a woman 12 percent less sane until the kids can fully function on their own. #
• the christmas tree has been up and decorated for 24 hours. broken ornament count: 2. we're on pace for a new record. #

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• <— getting my drink on! #
• just blanched tomatoes for the first time in my life. today i am a man! #
• champange, sparkling wine, whatever. long as it's got alcohol. #
• just ordered the holiday cards! for the record, mrs chumworth wouldn't let me put "happy whatever!" on them. #
• the 7 year old is running around the house pantless. don't know where she got that move from. #
• made the 7 year old put on pants. i set such a bad example. #
• mrs chumworth and 7 year old decorating tree. i'm eating pretzels. #
• house being invaded tonight by a bunch of women. i will be cowering on the third floor. #

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• <— it's time for this! i need to warm my bod up. some parts of me need more warming up than others. #
• a certain someone MAY be going back to the BIG EASY in early february. not definite, but looks promising! i could use the beads. #
• drinking beer and watching rudolph with the kids. party! #
• up watching "santa claus is coming to town" with the kids. just between us, jessica – the future mrs claus – is pretty hot. #
• time to gather up the troops and go get the christmas tree! this has emergency room visit written all over it. #
• RR new IT Underworld cartoon posted! the Windows Christmas Screen of Death: http://tinyurl.com/ydxqnle #
• the tree is up! not to brag, but i am a true master at putting up the tree. #
• putting lights on tree and watching a christmas story. i now identify completely with darren mcgavin. i have turned into the old man. #

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• heading home after some quality boozing and eating. good thing it's friday. #
• well, once again the commuter train smells like a giant urinal cake. nice going, people. #
• wait – it's friday? i thought yesterday was friday. dang – screwed again. #
• new IT Underworld cartoon posted! the Windows Christmas Screen of Death: http://tinyurl.com/ydxqnle #
• gotta lotta crap done this morning and now here i am getting a whole bunch of shit done this afternoon. sweet! #
• Playboy just launched an iPhone app with no nudity. So, I guess we'll finally found out how many guys really do read it for the articles. #

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