As if poor dumb Eliot Spitzer isn’t having a tough enough month as it is, now we find out this week that he likes to keep his calf-length black socks on during sex with prostitutes. Personally, I would never do that; I hate calf length socks and I hate, even more, black socks. I’m more of an ankle-length white sock fella, which should tell you just about all you need to know about me. My own opinion aside, I figure at the rates Eliot was paying for those girls, he had the right to wear whatever the heck he wanted on his tootsies.
In any case, this little factoid is obvious late night talk show monologue joke material. So it was no surprise when Dave Letterman told this joke I wrote about it on Monday’s Late Show (3/24/08):
We learned this week that former Governor Eliot Spitzer would wear his black socks during sex.
For me the only thing I keep on is my hairpiece.
Here’s the audio:
You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.
Can’t wait to hear what David Paterson liked to wear he had sex with his mistress(es)…
In case you’ve been living under a rock, you know there’s been a writers strike going on for a while now. For a couple of months this meant that us Late Show monologue joke freelancers had no show to submit to, as it was off the air. A few weeks back, Dave Letterman struck a deal with the Writers Guild of America so he could come back on air with his full writing staff, which meant I could submit jokes again.
Well, it took a couple of weeks, but I finally landed another joke on the show. In fact, Dave told not one but two of my jokes on Monday’s show (1/21/08). First, he opened the monologue with this one:
It was freezing cold today here in New York City.
The key to beating the cold is to dress in layers. So today I’m wearing two hairpieces.
Even better, as you can hear in the audio, when Dave told this second joke there was some sort of cue card malfunction. Because of that we got a good shot of Dave’s longtime cue card guy Tony Mendez holding the card with my joke on it! I have a couple of these cards with my jokes at home and it’s always interesting to see how Tony writers them out for Dave. Take a look:
You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.
