They say Jenna will contribute about once a month – it’s the same schedule her old man had.

Download audio file (dave_083109.mp3)

But, of course, I’m an extra busy man these days, what with writing jokes for David Letterman and Jimmy Fallon, drawing my IT Underworld cartoon, going to the full time day job and, oh yeah, helping raise our two little bundles of joy. So, who has time to think up original material?

Not me!

So, my mind drifted back to a coupe of years ago – 2006 to be exact – when there was another solar eclipse (back when I had a little more free time). I remembered that Dave Letterman told a joke I wrote about that eclipse:

Earlier today there was a total eclipse of the sun. President Bush said the eclipse of the sun proves the unreliability of solar power.

Download audio file (dave_032906.mp3)

Well, I figured, Dave liked THAT joke so, you know, maybe – just maybe – if I took that joke and tweaked it a bit to be more up-to-date, then maybe Dave would use it again. So, I did just that; I swapped out George Bush for Rush Limbaugh, sent it in to the Late Show yesterday morning and…

(drum roll please)

VOILA!

Earlier today there was a solar eclipse of the sun in China. Rush Limbaugh said it just proves the unreliability of solar power.

Download audio file (dave_072209.mp3)

Heck – if you can’t steal from yourself, who can you steal from?

Each side got to pick a topic, so the first hour will be centered on the international banking crisis, the second hour will be dedicated to NASCAR trivia.

Download audio file (jimmy_042109.mp3)

You can also watch the video of the entire show here.

David Letterman told a whole bunch of my jokes in December, starting with these two on the December 8 Late Show:

OJ Simpson was convicted on Friday to 33 years in prison, but it could be less with good behavior.

Download audio file (dave_120808.mp3)

On December 10 Dave told this one:

The Yankees have signed free agent pitcher C.C. Sabathia.

The deal is pending a physical by Madonna.

Download audio file (dave_121008.mp3)

Dave told this one on December 15:

Yesterday in Iraq a guy threw his shoe at President Bush.

Luckily President Bush was able to dodge the shoe. I believe he hasn’t dodged something like that since the Vietnam War.

Download audio file (dave_121508.mp3)

On December 17 Dave again told two of my jokes:

On this day in 1903 the Wright Brothers made their first flight.

Those first flights were rough, it was drafty, it was cold, it was cramped, there was no food – today we call that JetBlue.

Download audio file (dave_121708.mp3)

Finally, the last joke of mine that Dave told in 2008 came on December 18:

It’s Christmas time so it’s tip time.

I’m all set for that; earlier today I went to the bank and got a roll of quarters.

Download audio file (dave_121808.mp3)

To top it all off, I got my annual Christmas present from Dave – another Late Show jacket! Check it out:

So, all in all, it was a good ending to my monologue joke writing year! Thanks Dave!

On the cartooning front, IT World has decided to continue publishing my cartoon IT Underworld into the new year! I’ll continue to put out a new one of those every week – tell your friends!

Here is this week’s cartoon:

Finally, the year was capped off with the just about the best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten – fleece football pants! Tell me these aren’t sweet:

OK, bring on 2009!

Happy New Year!

Luckily President Bush was able to dodge the shoe. I believe he hasn’t dodged something like that since the Vietnam War.

Download audio file (dave_121508.mp3)

You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

Naturally, that led to a joke that pretty much wrote itself. I merely put it to paper (or, rather, email) and sent it off to David Letterman, who told on Thursday’s Late Show (6/26/08):

It was on this day in 1963 President Kennedy was in Germany and said “Ich bin ein Berliner”.

Now it’d be nice if we had a president who could speak English.

Download audio file (dave_062608.mp3)

You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

Now it’d be nice if we had a president who could speak English.

Download audio file (dave_062608.mp3)

You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.