Tags: Barack Obama, Carla Bruni, cartoon, G20, George Bush, Gordon Brown, Iran, Iraq, Nicolas Sarkozy, nuclear weapons, Pittsburgh, tea

Tags: Barack Obama, cartoon, George Bush, God, Intelligent Design

Former President Bush’s daughter Jenna has been hired as a correspondent on the Today show.

They say Jenna will contribute about once a month – it’s the same schedule her old man had.

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Tags: David Letterman, George Bush, Jenna Bush, Late Show, Today Show

Tags: Barack Obama, cartoon, Florida, George Bush, Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts, Richard Nixon, teleprompter, Washington

Earlier this week there was this total eclipse of the sun deal visible over there in China. Naturally, when I heard about it, my mind drifted to the obvious thing: using it as material for a late night talk show monologue joke!

But, of course, I’m an extra busy man these days, what with writing jokes for David Letterman and Jimmy Fallon, drawing my IT Underworld cartoon, going to the full time day job and, oh yeah, helping raise our two little bundles of joy. So, who has time to think up original material?

Not me!

So, my mind drifted back to a coupe of years ago – 2006 to be exact – when there was another solar eclipse (back when I had a little more free time). I remembered that Dave Letterman told a joke I wrote about that eclipse:

Earlier today there was a total eclipse of the sun. President Bush said the eclipse of the sun proves the unreliability of solar power.

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Well, I figured, Dave liked THAT joke so, you know, maybe – just maybe – if I took that joke and tweaked it a bit to be more up-to-date, then maybe Dave would use it again. So, I did just that; I swapped out George Bush for Rush Limbaugh, sent it in to the Late Show yesterday morning and…

(drum roll please)

VOILA!

Earlier today there was a solar eclipse of the sun in China. Rush Limbaugh said it just proves the unreliability of solar power.

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Heck – if you can’t steal from yourself, who can you steal from?

Tags: David Letterman, George Bush, Late Show, Rush Limbaugh, solar eclipse

As I write this 2008 is swirling faster and faster around the toilet bowl, about to be flushed away forever. It’s been a strange year for me, lots of ups (Sarah Palin!) and downs (the Penguins blew it in the Stanley Cup finals). However, December turned out to be very strong, comedy-wise! Behold, my highlights, such as they were, for this month.

David Letterman told a whole bunch of my jokes in December, starting with these two on the December 8 Late Show:

OJ Simpson was convicted on Friday to 33 years in prison, but it could be less with good behavior.

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On December 10 Dave told this one:

The Yankees have signed free agent pitcher C.C. Sabathia.

The deal is pending a physical by Madonna.

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Dave told this one on December 15:

Yesterday in Iraq a guy threw his shoe at President Bush.

Luckily President Bush was able to dodge the shoe. I believe he hasn’t dodged something like that since the Vietnam War.

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On December 17 Dave again told two of my jokes:

On this day in 1903 the Wright Brothers made their first flight.

Those first flights were rough, it was drafty, it was cold, it was cramped, there was no food – today we call that JetBlue.

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Finally, the last joke of mine that Dave told in 2008 came on December 18:

It’s Christmas time so it’s tip time.

I’m all set for that; earlier today I went to the bank and got a roll of quarters.

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To top it all off, I got my annual Christmas present from Dave – another Late Show jacket! Check it out:

So, all in all, it was a good ending to my monologue joke writing year! Thanks Dave!

On the cartooning front, IT World has decided to continue publishing my cartoon IT Underworld into the new year! I’ll continue to put out a new one of those every week – tell your friends!

Here is this week’s cartoon:

Finally, the year was capped off with the just about the best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten – fleece football pants! Tell me these aren’t sweet:

OK, bring on 2009!

Happy New Year!

Tags: C.C. Sabathia, David Letterman, football, George Bush, Iraq, IT Underworld, ITWorld, JetBlue, Late Show, OJ Simpson, Sarah Palin, shoes, Wright Brothers, Yankees

45 years ago yesterday John F. Kennedy made that famous speech in West Germany in which he declared Ich bin ein Berliner. Needless to say, it’s difficult to imagine the current occupant of the White House – whether you like him or not – being able to pull off a line like that, in pretty much any language. He may be the decider, but he ain’t no master linguist.

Naturally, that led to a joke that pretty much wrote itself. I merely put it to paper (or, rather, email) and sent it off to David Letterman, who told on Thursday’s Late Show (6/26/08):

It was on this day in 1963 President Kennedy was in Germany and said “Ich bin ein Berliner”.

Now it’d be nice if we had a president who could speak English.

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You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

Tags: English, George Bush, Germany, John Kennedy