Spygate Pays Off

chumworth — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 01:24:56 +0000

Being from Pittsburgh, I’m a huge Steelers fan. Unfortunately, even the biggest Steeler fan like myself has to admit that – at best – Big Ben Roethlisberger is a big, immature douchebag. At worst… well, he’s something much worse. Time and the legal system will tell.

All the same, down there at the sight of his latest dumbass move, in Georgia, something fishy is going on – to his benefit (shocker). So, I went ahead and did a cartoon about it. Ergo and therefore – here it is:

Also, like my elementary school aged kids, I’ve started playing with primary – and, uh, secondary – colors! To wit and QED…

Oh yeah – if you don’t get the punchline reference to New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick videotaping players from other teams, here’s some background on Spygate.

Adios 2008 – You Betcha!

chumworth — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:40:06 +0000

As I write this 2008 is swirling faster and faster around the toilet bowl, about to be flushed away forever. It’s been a strange year for me, lots of ups (Sarah Palin!) and downs (the Penguins blew it in the Stanley Cup finals). However, December turned out to be very strong, comedy-wise! Behold, my highlights, such as they were, for this month.

David Letterman told a whole bunch of my jokes in December, starting with these two on the December 8 Late Show:

OJ Simpson was convicted on Friday to 33 years in prison, but it could be less with good behavior.

That seems likely because, really, when you think of OJ, you think of good behavior.

Legal experts say his main problem was his lawyer couldn’t find anything that rhymes with memorabilia.

Download audio file (dave_120808.mp3)

On December 10 Dave told this one:

The Yankees have signed free agent pitcher C.C. Sabathia.

The deal is pending a physical by Madonna.

Download audio file (dave_121008.mp3)

Dave told this one on December 15:

Yesterday in Iraq a guy threw his shoe at President Bush.

Luckily President Bush was able to dodge the shoe. I believe he hasn’t dodged something like that since the Vietnam War.

Download audio file (dave_121508.mp3)

On December 17 Dave again told two of my jokes:

On this day in 1903 the Wright Brothers made their first flight.

Orville made the first flight – 852 feet. Here’s the weird thing: somehow his luggage landed up in Dallas.

Those first flights were rough, it was drafty, it was cold, it was cramped, there was no food – today we call that JetBlue.

Download audio file (dave_121708.mp3)

Finally, the last joke of mine that Dave told in 2008 came on December 18:

It’s Christmas time so it’s tip time.

I’m all set for that; earlier today I went to the bank and got a roll of quarters.

Download audio file (dave_121808.mp3)

To top it all off, I got my annual Christmas present from Dave – another Late Show jacket! Check it out:

So, all in all, it was a good ending to my monologue joke writing year! Thanks Dave!

On the cartooning front, IT World has decided to continue publishing my cartoon IT Underworld into the new year! I’ll continue to put out a new one of those every week – tell your friends!

Here is this week’s cartoon:

Finally, the year was capped off with the just about the best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten – fleece football pants! Tell me these aren’t sweet:

OK, bring on 2009!

Happy New Year!

Chumworth on the News » football

Spygate Pays Off

Adios 2008 – You Betcha!