After selling no jokes for about a three month stretch, mainly due to the writers strike, things are picking up! Last week, Dave Letterman told three of my jokes, including one night where he told two. Lightening has struck again, as he told two more of my jokes on Wednesday’s Late Show (1/30/08).

John Edwards officially dropped out of the presidential race today.

He says he wants to spend more time with his haircut.

Click here to hear it live! (format: MP3, size: 77kb)

Celebrity birthdays: Vice President Dick Cheney turns 67 today.

His friends threw a big party for him and they all enjoyed playing Shoot the Tail Off the Donkey.

Click here to hear it live! (format: MP3, size: 263kb)

You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

This is an official hot streak! Of course, I have now just jinxed myself, so the streak is most likely over. Oh well.

Tags: Dave Letterman, Dick Cheney, haircut, John Edwards, Late Show, tax rebate

If you think your parents were horrible, remember, it could have been worse; they could have been international terrorists. One of Osama bin Laden’s kids, Omar, has recently been in the news, trying to promote - of all things - world peace! Well, this got me to thinking about what it must have been like having OBL as a dad. That led to a nice little joke that I wrote which Dave Letterman told to close out his monologue on Wednesday’s Late Show (1/23/08):

Osama bin Laden’s son Omar had a troubled childhood.

When he was 17 he wrecked his dad’s camel.

Click here to hear it live! (format: MP3, size: 135kb)

You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

Wonder what the deductible is on a camel?

Tags: camel, Dave Letterman, insurance, Late Show, Omar bin Laden, Osama bin Laden, terrorist

In case you’ve been living under a rock, you know there’s been a writers strike going on for a while now. For a couple of months this meant that us Late Show monologue joke freelancers had no show to submit to, as it was off the air. A few weeks back, Dave Letterman struck a deal with the Writers Guild of America so he could come back on air with his full writing staff, which meant I could submit jokes again.

Well, it took a couple of weeks, but I finally landed another joke on the show. In fact, Dave told not one but two of my jokes on Monday’s show (1/21/08). First, he opened the monologue with this one:

It was freezing cold today here in New York City.

The key to beating the cold is to dress in layers. So today I’m wearing two hairpieces.

Click here to hear it live! (format: MP3, size: 198kb)

Then, after a few other jokes, he closed it out with this one that I wrote:

Mayor Bloomberg and the mayor of Boston have already made the traditional Super Bowl bet.

Here’s the deal: if the Giants win New York gets a crate of lobsters. If the Patriots win, Boston gets Regis.

Click here to hear it live! (format: MP3, size: 433kb)

Even better, as you can hear in the audio, when Dave told this second joke there was some sort of cue card malfunction. Because of that we got a good shot of Dave’s longtime cue card guy Tony Mendez holding the card with my joke on it! I have a couple of these cards with my jokes at home and it’s always interesting to see how Tony writers them out for Dave. Take a look:

You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

Tags: Bloomberg, cold, cue card, Dave Letterman, Giants, hairpiece, Patrios, Regis, strike, Super Bowl, Tony Mendez, WGA