Chumworth Jokes Submitted to the Late Show
From
July 2003 until
October 2009 I wrote and submitted monologue jokes to the
LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN.
I wrote and submitted about
10 jokes for each show they taped, the vast majority of which were not used.
But a couple of times each month (sometimes more, sometimes less) Dave would use one on air and I would get
paid for it!
Dave is one of my top two
all-time comedy heroes, so it was an honor and a privilege to hear him tell a joke I wrote. Every single time. It
never, ever got old.
This section displays
all of the jokes I submitted over the years, in all their glory (such as it is).
Use the
archive links at the lower left to jump to a specific month, or the
search box to look for jokes on a certain topic.
Jokes highlighted in
bold were
used on air (sometimes after further modification), though I don't remember when I started using this convention.
You can see all of my jokes that were used on air by Dave (as well as those told by
Jay and
Carson and
Jimmy) on my
Late Night Jokes page.
Enjoy!
September 29, 2006.
Web Posted at: 12:10 pm UTC
These jokes were submitted for the 10/6/06 Late Show.
Columbus Day weekend is coming up.
We’ll be having the annual Letterman family Columbus Day party at my house and mom will be making her famous Nina, Pinta and Santa Margaritas.
Columbus Day weekend is coming up.
President Bush doesn’t like to make a deal about Columbus Day; he doesn’t want to do anything to encourage more Hispanics to come here on a boat.
Columbus Day marks the date when Europeans first arrived in America.
Earlier today George Bush said we’re only staying until the area is capable of self rule.
Today I saw a sure sign that fall is officially here.
Over at Grant’s Tomb they closed up the pool.
“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” opened today.
If you haven’t seen it here’s what it’s like: it’s like a less violent version of “Jackass 2.”
“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” opened today.
In this movie they follow the early life of a cold-blooded murderer from his childhood through his days as a Hall of Fame NFL running back.
Celebrity birthdays: The Fox News Channel turns 10 years old tomorrow.
They celebrated by putting together an interesting montage of footage highlighting 10 years of attacking the Clintons.
Out in California they’ve got a new problem: squirrels attacking people in parks.
The good news we don’t have that problem here in New York because our squirrels are too afraid to come out because of the rats.
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September 28, 2006.
Web Posted at: 10:36 am UTC
It was another beautiful fall day today.
It was such a nice day today Terrell Owens was glad he didn’t kill himself.
Celebrity birthdays: Ed Sullivan was born on this day in 1901.
Ed Sullivan and I, of course, have a lot in common; for example neither of us ever beat Leno.
The Republican Party has picked Minneapolis-St. Paul for their 2008 presidential convention.
The Republicans will be in the Twin Cities from September 1st through the 4th that year. So at least they have an exit strategy.
The John Gotti, Jr. trial was declared a mistrial yesterday because of a hung jury.
John Gotti, Jr. said he was looking forward to spending more time with his family and the jury members said they were looking forward to spending more time alive.
California has passed a strict new environmental law to help reduce pollution.
It’s a pretty strict law; it put limits on the amount of greenhouse gas emissions produced by factories and the amount of crap produced by Fox.
California has passed a strict new environmental law to help reduce global warming.
Here’s what it does: it puts strict limits on greenhouse gas emissions and the amount of spicy food that Kirstie Alley can eat.
Researchers studying the Mona Lisa now think she was pregnant when she posed for Leonardo da Vinci.
Earlier today Anna Nicole Smith’s lawyer claimed to be the father.
Researchers studying the Mona Lisa now think she was pregnant when she posed for Leonardo da Vinci.
Apparently using high tech scanning equipment they were able to see, under several layers of paint, that she’s holding a Baby Einstein video.
7-Eleven has announced that they’re no longer going to buy their gasoline from Venezuela.
They say they’re just going to get their Slurpee ingredients from somewhere else.
A Maryland woman who was found living with 300 cats has pleaded guilty to animal cruelty charges.
The bad news is she could go to jail for 10 years. The good news is jail will smell a lot better than her house.
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September 27, 2006.
Web Posted at: 10:38 am UTC
Hillary Clinton said this week that Bill Clinton worked hard to try and capture Osama bin Laden when he was president.
Sure, what else could he have been doing in the Oval Office?
The jury in the John Gotti, Jr. racketeering trial said this week that they’re deadlocked.
Here’s how it broke down: half the jury wanted to convict him and the other half wanted to live.
Today I saw a sure sign that fall is here.
My cab driver was wearing a fleece turban.
Today I saw a sure sign that fall is here.
Over at St. Patrick’s I saw a bunch of priests playing touch football with the altar boys.
Yesterday President Bush declassified an intelligence document about Iraq because it had been leaked.
Here’s how bad the leak was: the only person who hasn’t read it is President Bush.
Yesterday President Bush said that the Iraq war has not increased the threat of terrorist attacks.
Well, it’s good to see he still has his sense of humor.
Here in New York City they’re considering banning the use of trans fatty acids in food.
The good news is this won’t affect the street hot dogs, since they’re technically not food.
This week in London a Barbie doll from 1965 was sold for $17,000.
Damn it! I told mom not to throw out my old Barbies.
Scientists examining the Mona Lisa announced this week that it’s in fragile condition but with proper care should last another five hundred years.
It’s the same thing Mike Wallace’s doctors said after his last physical.
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie reportedly spoke recently for the first time in over a year.
They say it was a short but extremely superficial conversation.
Yesterday in Boston a blimp crashed into a wooded area.
People in Boston say they haven’t seen something crash and burn like that since the Red Sox.
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September 26, 2006.
Web Posted at: 11:21 am UTC
Former President Bill Clinton and Condoleezza Rice have been having a war of words in the press this week.
Things are really heating up between then; she called him a liar and he called her a hot piece of ass.
Former President Bill Clinton and Condoleezza Rice have been having a war of words in the press this week.
Earlier today Bill Clinton offered to sit down and discuss their differences over a candle lit dinner.
Good news: crime on the subway here in New York City is way down.
I know crime on the subway is down because it’s been weeks since I’ve shouted “Don’t shoot, I have a family!”
Celebrity birthdays: Johnny Appleseed was born on this day in 1774.
I believe the only American to plant his seed more than Johnny Appleseed was Bill Clinton.
Last night in New Orleans Saints fans got to see NFL football for the first time in almost two years.
No word yet on when Giants fans can expect to see NFL football again.
The government said this week that passengers can carry liquids and gels onto planes.
They’re really loosening things up again; they also said pilots no longer have to pass a breathalyzer test.
The government said this week that passengers can carry liquids and gels onto planes.
Finally, I can carry on my toupee glue again.
The government said this week that there are 80 radioactive hot spots in New York City.
The good news is the radioactive spots are easy to avoid: just look for the two-headed rats.
The government said this week that there are 80 radioactive hot spots in New York City.
Apparently the most dangerous hot spot in New York is The View.
Scientists say the earth is the warmest it’s been in a million years.
Maybe George Bush is the devil.
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September 25, 2006.
Web Posted at: 10:47 am UTC
MONDAY: Friday was the Jewish New Year and I’m still cleaning up at my house from the big party.
Does anybody know how to get Manischewitz stains out of a carpet?
MONDAY: Fall is officially here.
Now that fall is here I’ve gotten out all of my heavier weight hairpieces.
MONDAY: Today I saw a sure sign that fall is here.
The Status of Liberty was wearing tights.
MONDAY: Fall is officially here.
You can tell fall is here because there’s a real chill in the air over at The View.
MONDAY: Jackass 2 opened this weekend.
This time around they do some really dangerous stuff, like going hunting with Dick Cheney.
MONDAY: Jackass 2 opened this weekend.
This time around they do some really dangerous stuff, like telling Star Jones she’s fired from The View.
MONDAY: Jackass 2 opened this weekend.
This time around they do some really dangerous stuff, like going to the Carnegie Deli with Mel Gibson.
MONDAY: The Pope apologized again over the weekend for insulting Muslims.
The Pope is so busy apologizing that earlier today he apologized for the Red Sox season.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Barbara Walters turns 77 today.
She celebrated with all of her friends – so nobody from The View was there.
MONDAY: Earlier today Oprah Winfrey’s new satellite radio show debuted.
It’s called “Oprah & Friends,” which means I won’t ever be on it.
FRIDAY: Earlier tonight on CBS they had the Ghost Whisperer.
Tonight the Ghost Whisperer helped another dead person by booking some gigs for Joan Rivers.
FRIDAY: Earlier tonight on CBS they had the Ghost Whisperer.
Tonight the Ghost Whisperer tried to revive Star Jones’s career.
Mel Gibson made his first public appearance this week since he was arrested two months ago.
He looked good, he looked confident – that’s right he’s drinking again
Last week the president of Venezuela called President Bush the devil.
President Bush said he’s not the devil, although, coincidentally, that is what he’s going to be for Halloween.
Scientists in Massachusetts announced this week that they’ve been able restore the vision of blind rats using human stem cells.
I smell a Nobel prize!
There are rumors now that Osama bin Laden is dead.
The evidence is pretty strong – it’s been weeks since he updated his blog.
There are rumors now that Osama bin Laden is dead.
If Osama bin Laden is really dead then that means the world’s new number one terror chief is now Dick Cheney.
Forbes Magazine came out with their annual list of the 400 richest Americans this week.
For the first time ever all 400 of the richest Americans are billionaires, so earlier today President Bush declared “Mission Accomplished.”
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September 21, 2006.
Web Posted at: 10:34 am UTC
Yesterday at the U.N. the president of Venezuela called President Bush the devil.
That’s crazy – I think, technically, Dick Cheney is the devil.
Yesterday at the U.N. the president of Venezuela called President Bush the devil.
I’d give that guy six months before we’re pulling him out of a spider hole.
Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins tomorrow at sun down.
I love Rosh Hashanah because it’s the one time of year I can go to a New Year’s party and still be in bed by 8:00.
Scientists in Massachusetts announced this week that they’ve been able restore the visions of blind rats using human stem cells.
So, still no cure for cancer, but all of our rats will now have 20/20 vision.
Scientists in Massachusetts announced this week that they’ve been able restore the visions of blind rats using human stem cells.
Don’t kid yourselves; blind rats are a big problem. Earlier today in Central Park I saw a rat with a seeing-eye squirrel.
Yesterday former President Bill Clinton hosted the Clinton Global Initiative to discuss world issues.
He invited First Lady Laura Bush to attend, which isn’t surprising since we know how much he likes bush.
Scientists announced this week that they’ve discovered the 3 million year-old skeleton of an ape-like human ancestor.
So far they’ve figured out that this species was able to walk upright, climb trees and get elected governor of California.
Scientists announced this week that they’ve discovered the skeleton of a child that’s over 3 million years old.
They say it’s the oldest set of bones discovered since Joan River’s debut on the Tonight Show.
Scientists announced this week that they’ve discovered the skeleton of a child that’s over 3 million years old.
They say it’s the most youthful fossil ever found, other than Dick Clark.
Congratulations to the New York Yankees who clinched their division last night for the ninth straight year.
I believe the only ones who’ve been there for all nine years are Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera and the Yankee Stadium hot dogs.
Congratulations to the New York Yankees who clinched their division last night for the ninth straight year.
That means the Red Sox are out of it but don’t worry Sox fans – the teams’s already hard at work figuring out how they’re going to blow it next year.
Earlier today down in Florida the space shuttle landed after a 10-day mission.
The landing was picture perfect, but it took forever for the astronauts to get through customs.
Scientists this week announced that they’ve found 52 new species of fish in the Pacific Ocean.
They say it was the biggest collection of unidentified fish outside of Red Lobster.
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September 20, 2006.
Web Posted at: 11:36 am UTC
Good news: crime here in New York City is way down.
Here’s how much crime is down in New York: even the Mets aren’t getting killed any more.
Willie Nelson was arrested for marijuana possession after a traffic stop earlier this week.
The police searched his tour bus and found 1 1/2 pounds of marijuana and 10 boxes of Twinkies.
Willie Nelson was arrested for marijuana possession after a traffic stop earlier this week.
Apparently he was pulled over for driving in a groovy manner.
Yesterday at the U.N. President Bush and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad each gave a speech to the General Assembly.
One speech was a crazy, ideological rant that barely made any sense – and the President of Iran’s speech wasn’t much better.
Yesterday the President of Iran refused to attend a lunch for world leaders who were in town for meetings at the U.N.
Instead he decided to just grab a cheeseburger at Hooters.
Yesterday in Thailand the army took control of the government.
I believe it’s the first successful coup since they got rid of Star Jones at The View.
We’ve got a new problem here in New York City – bedbugs.
Health officials say that once bedbugs get into your house they can be really annoying and are very hard to get rid of – just like your relatives.
We’ve got a new problem here in New York City – bedbugs.
Health officials say the problem is second-hand bedding, so that’s it for me; no more buying my mattresses on eBay.
Doctors in China say they’ve performed the world’s first penis transplant.
The good news is his body didn’t reject it – the bad news is wife’s body did.
Doctors in China recently performed the world’s first penis transplant, but the patient asked them to remove it because it was causing psychological problems.
I can’t think of why that would be.
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September 19, 2006.
Web Posted at: 11:37 am UTC
Congratulations to the Mets who clinched their first division title in 18 years last night.
So apparently global warming hasn’t prevented Hell from freezing over.
Here in New York City this week there’s a big meeting of the U.N. General Assembly.
So right now the city is filled with people from other countries – and then there are all the people here for the U.N. meetings.
President Bush spoke to the U.N. General Assembly earlier today.
Most people in the audience had to have translators to understand what he was saying – and those were just the English speakers.
President Bush spoke to the U.N. General Assembly earlier today to promote freedom and democracy in the Middle East.
And he said if it works there we’ll try it here.
Good news: New York City has been named the safest big city in the country.
It’s all thanks to Mayor Bloomberg’s plan to outsource our crime to Mexico.
Up on the international space station this week there was a chemical spill that caused a bad odor.
Controllers on the ground immediately ordered the crew to put on surgical masks, activate the emergency system and to break out the Febreze.
Congratulations to Mel Gibson’s daughter, who got married last weekend.
Mel gave the bride away – and blamed it on the Jews.
Congratulations to Mel Gibson’s daughter, who got married last weekend.
Mel was really happy about it, because she didn’t marry a Jew.
Willie Nelson was arrested for drug possession yesterday in Louisiana.
President Bush said this proves we’re winning the war against country and western music.
Willie Nelson was arrested for drug possession yesterday in Louisiana.
Here’s what he was caught with: 1 1/2 pounds of marijuana, 2/10 of a pound of mushrooms and a whole jug of Cialis.
There’s a new problem here in New York City – bedbugs.
We haven’t this many annoying blood suckers in town since the Republican National Convention.
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September 18, 2006.
Web Posted at: 10:55 am UTC
MONDAY: Down in Washington this morning a guy crashed his car into a barricade at the Capitol building.
It’s good to see Patrick Kennedy is back to work.
MONDAY: The Mets are one game away from clinching the National League East for the first time in 18 years.
It’s pretty much a done deal: Hell is officially at 33 degrees and dropping.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Robert Blake turns 73 today.
He celebrated with a few close family members that he hasn’t killed.
MONDAY: It was on this day in 1793 that President George Washington laid the cornerstone for the Capitol building.
I believe the only other president to lay something that big was Bill Clinton.
MONDAY: Earlier today they had the debut of the CW network.
The CW will broadcast the best shows from the old UPN and WB networks – so, in other words, it’ll be all new programming.
MONDAY: Earlier today they had the debut of the CW network, which is going to broadcast the best shows from the old UPN and WB networks.
A whole network made up of only the best shows from the UPN and WB networks? Pinch me, am I dreaming?
MONDAY: Muslims have demanded an apology for comments the Pope recently made about Islam.
Earlier today Muslims also demanded an apology for NBC’s fall lineup.
MONDAY: Earlier today the world’s first female space tourist was launched into space on a Russian rocket.
She said being blasted into outer space is a dream come true – no, I’m sorry, that’s what her husband said.
MONDAY: Earlier today the world’s first female space tourist was launched into space on a Russian rocket.
I believe her official role on the mission is “beat seat driver.”
MONDAY: Earlier today the world’s first female space tourist was launched into space on a Russian rocket.
I believe she’s the first woman who’s not an astronaut to get that high other than Whitney Houston.
FRIDAY: Today is the last day of summer.
Everybody’s sad to see summer go; earlier today Mel Gibson blamed the Jews.
FRIDAY: Tomorrow is the first day of fall.
Of course the beginning of fall means the official end of summer and the Jets season.
FRIDAY: Tomorrow is the first day of fall.
Today I saw a sure sign that fall is here: over at Grant’s Tomb they took out the air conditioners.
FRIDAY: Tomorrow is the first day of fall.
Today I saw a sure sign that fall is here: over at Grant’s Tomb they hung up dried corn on the front door.
FRIDAY: Tonight is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.
That means that starting tonight at sundown my mom will only drink Manischewitz.
FRIDAY: Tonight is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.
It’s now the year 5767, which is odd because I just got used to saying 5766.
FRIDAY: My mom’s in town this weekend.
We’ve got a big night planned: first I’m taking her out to a lovely dinner then we’re going to see “Jackass: Number Two.”
Oil prices keep going down.
Here’s how much oil prices have gone down: earlier today President Bush sent FEMA to help out Shell.
Scientists in Washington have discovered a slab of stone inscribed with symbols from 900 B.C.
They believe it’s the oldest known writing in the Western Hemisphere, except for Joan Rivers’s birth certificate.
Scientists say that global warming is causing artic perennial sea ice to melt faster than ever.
Here’s how bad global warming is getting: things are even starting to thaw over at The View.
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September 14, 2006.
Web Posted at: 10:34 am UTC
It’s Fashion Week here in New York City.
Here’s what Fashion Week is like: it’s a lot like when the Westminster Dog Show is in town, but with a lot more bitches.
Scientists announced this week they believe that Neanderthals were around much more recently then previously thought.
In fact they believe a Neanderthal is now the governor of California.
Here’s a question: is it too early for Osama bin Laden to call Whitney Houston?
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are getting divorced.
They say they have irreconcilable differences – they’re addicted to different drugs.
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are getting divorced.
Friends say they saw it coming – they’ve been at separate rehab clinics for weeks.
Congratulations to Jennifer Anniston who was named the best-dressed woman of 2006 by People magazine.
Well, at least somebody picked her over Angelina.
Congratulations to Britney Spears who gave birth to her second child this week.
She said the birth was painful but short-lived – just like Kevin Federline’s singing career.
Congratulations to Britney Spears who gave birth to her second child this week.
She had such good care at the hospital that she lip-sync’d a big thank you to the doctors and nurses.
Earlier tonight on CBS they had the debut of the new season of Survivor. This season they’re splitting people up by race: whites, blacks, Asians, and Hispanics.
So far it’s not going too well – the whites and Asians hired the blacks and Hispanics to clean their camps.
A woman in Connecticut gave birth to a 14-pound, 13-ounce baby this week.
Here’s how big this kid is: they skipped the Pampers and went right to Depends.
Russia has rejected Madonna’s request to fly to the international space station.
Apparently the problem is that the Soyuz capsules have a very low capacity for skanks.
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September 13, 2006.
Web Posted at: 11:47 am UTC
It’s Fashion Week here in New York City.
Everybody is excited about Fashion Week; earlier today Hillary Clinton was wearing an Armani pants suit.
Congratulations to Britney Spears, who gave birth to her second child yesterday.
Mom and baby are doing great – but Dad’s still a loser.
Congratulations to Britney Spears, who gave birth to her second child yesterday.
The whole family was involved in the birth – her first son even drove her to the hospital.
Congratulations to Britney Spears, who gave birth to her second child yesterday.
Apparently it was a natural childbirth; the only drugs involved were the ones she must’ve been on when she married Kevin Federline.
Congratulations to Britney Spears, who gave birth to her second son yesterday.
Apparently, he’s clingy, he’s whiny and he’s completely dependent on her – but enough about Kevin Federline.
Congratulations to Hillary Clinton, who easily won the Democratic primary for senator from New York yesterday.
Bill really helped with the campaign; he made sure all his girlfriends voted for her.
Gas prices keep going down.
I can tell gas prices are down because it’s been weeks since I caught my neighbor siphoning gas from my car.
A 77-year-old guy was arrested in Florida this week for using a camera phone to look up women’s skirts.
Real smooth, Regis.
Astronauts working on the construction of the Internal Space Station lost a nut during a spacewalk yesterday.
I believe it’s the first nut lost in outer space since Michael Jackson.
John Gotti Jr. has written a children’s book.
I believe it’s called “Curious George Gets Whacked.”
John Gotti Jr. already has an extensive promotional tour planned for his new children’s book.
He’ll be traveling all over the country shaking down bookstores.
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September 12, 2006.
Web Posted at: 11:00 am UTC
It was a beautiful late summer day here in New York City today.
It was such a nice day that Mel Gibson couldn’t find anything to blame on the Jews.
It’s Fashion Week here in New York City.
You can tell it’s Fashion Week in New York because on Sunday the Jets were flagged for wearing white after Labor Day.
It was on this date in 1609 that Henry Hudson discovered the Hudson River.
Historians call it one of the biggest coincidences in American history.
A new study out finds that the average life expectancy in New York is 78 years old.
78 years old – and that’s just the rats.
David Gest said this week that he didn’t know that Liza Minelli was a violent alcoholic with herpes when he married her.
So he says he didn’t know she was a violent alcoholic with herpes and she says she didn’t know he was gay.
David Gest said this week that he didn’t know that Liza Minelli was a violent alcoholic with herpes when he married her.
To be fair, that’s something you could easily miss.
This week astronauts on the space shuttle Atlantis used a 50-foot-arm with sensors and cameras on the end to check the condition of the shuttle.
It’s the same way they give Michael Moore a prostate exam.
Astronauts on the space shuttle Atlantis are working on the construction of the International Space Station.
I believe the astronauts were from the Space Walkers Local 843.
Astronauts on the space shuttle Atlantis went for a space walk today to work on the construction of the International Space Station.
They performed a six-hour space walk – although four hours of that were coffee breaks.
Astronauts on the space shuttle Atlantis this week are working on the construction of the International Space Station.
Construction of the space station is being financed by the United States, Russia and the world’s largest home equity loan.
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September 11, 2006.
Web Posted at: 10:31 am UTC
MONDAY: I’m happy to announce that I’m officially going to stay at CBS for four more years.
CBS says it’s part of their commitment to mediocrity.
MONDAY: I’m happy to announce that I’m officially going to stay at CBS for four more years.
I called mom and told her the good news and she said “That’s great, David, but I’m still going to watch Leno.”
MONDAY: I’m happy to announce that I’m officially going to stay at CBS for four more years.
I negotiated a better deal this time; now I’ll get three new hairpieces a year instead of two.
MONDAY: Paris Hilton was arrested last week for DWI.
That’s right, DWI: Driving Without Intelligence.
MONDAY: Police say Paris Hilton blew a .08 on the breathalyzer.
I believe that’s the most she’s blown since her last sex video.
MONDAY: Paris Hilton was arrested last week for DWI.
The good news is she’ll be able to deduct whatever fine she pays as a business expense.
MONDAY: Katie Couric officially debuted on CBS last week.
It’s not going well – she’s already losing to Leno.
MONDAY: The football season opened this weekend and everybody here in New York City has football fever.
Earlier today Tom Cruise was lecturing Matt Lauer about the West Coast Offense.
MONDAY: The football season opened this weekend and everybody here in New York City has football fever.
Earlier today my cab driver was wearing a pigskin turban.
MONDAY: The football season opened this weekend and everybody here in New York City has football fever.
Yesterday people were tailgating over at Grant’s Tomb.
MONDAY: Rosie O’Donnell debuted on The View last week.
This is embarrassing: today is the first day Rosie and I are both on the air and we’ve already worn the same pants suit.
FRIDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Prince Harry turns 22 today.
He celebrated with a few close friends and frauleins.
FRIDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Play-Doh turns 50 tomorrow.
Play-Doh is not only one of the most popular children’s toys but it’s also the main ingredient in Yankee Stadium hot dogs.
It’s Fashion Week here in New York City.
I can tell it’s Fashion Week because the Statue of Liberty is wearing Vera Wang.
It’s Fashion Week here in New York City.
Earlier today Tom Cruise was lecturing Matt Lauer about breathable fabrics.
British Prime Minister Tony Blair says that he’s going to step down next year.
Here’s how it will work: Tony Blair will keep the job until 2007 and then Conan O’Brien takes over.
Al Gore said this week that he hasn’t ruled out running for president again.
He said as soon as he makes up his mind he’ll make a very boring announcement.
Al Gore said this week that it’s unlikely he’s going to run for president again.
He figures he already won one presidential election, so what’s the point?
Celebrity birthdays: Star Trek turned 40 last week.
That’s right: it’s been 40 years now that Trekkies have been boldly going where no woman wants to go.
Scientists in California have discovered three trees that are the tallest living things in the world.
Each tree is over 370 feet tall making them the three largest immobile objects in the world – other than the Knicks front court.
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