Chumworth on the News » jokes http://www.chumworth.com Real Headlines, Real Funny Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:00:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN http://www.chumworth.com/2009/09/25/4274/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/09/25/4274/#comments Fri, 25 Sep 2009 17:34:49 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=4274 A woman from Alabama placed the winning bid of $63,000 on eBay to have dinner with Sarah Palin.

For $63,000 she’ll not only have dinner with you, she’ll also show you to the table at Applebee’s.

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]]> http://www.chumworth.com/2009/09/25/4274/feed/ 0 The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN http://www.chumworth.com/2009/09/02/4176/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/09/02/4176/#comments Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:13:52 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=4176 Former New York Gov Eliot Spitzer is running for governor again.

He’s already doing some polling and I’m thinking, isn’t that what got him in trouble in the first place?

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]]> http://www.chumworth.com/2009/09/02/4176/feed/ 1 The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN http://www.chumworth.com/2009/08/31/4163/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/08/31/4163/#comments Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:30:17 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=4163 Former President Bush’s daughter Jenna has been hired as a correspondent on the Today show.

They say Jenna will contribute about once a month – it’s the same schedule her old man had.

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]]> http://www.chumworth.com/2009/08/31/4163/feed/ 1 The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN http://www.chumworth.com/2009/08/25/4142/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/08/25/4142/#comments Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:17:49 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=4142 Celebrity birthdays: Regis Philbin turns 78 today.

His family threw him a surprise party; what they did was they all jumped out from behind his money.

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]]> http://www.chumworth.com/2009/08/25/4142/feed/ 1 The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN http://www.chumworth.com/2009/08/20/4122/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/08/20/4122/#comments Thu, 20 Aug 2009 22:29:33 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=4122 Are you excited about the Afghanistan election?

Don’t get too excited; there were reports of voting irregularities in Broward and Dade counties.

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Click here to see the video of Dave’s monologue.

]]> http://www.chumworth.com/2009/08/20/4122/feed/ 1 The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/29/4057/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/29/4057/#comments Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:47:44 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=4057 Tomorrow President Obama is going to have Henry Louis Gates and Sgt. James Crowley over to the White House for a beer.

I believe it’ll be the first kegger at the White House since the Bush twins lived there.

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You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

]]> http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/29/4057/feed/ 6 The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/22/4019/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/22/4019/#comments Wed, 22 Jul 2009 22:12:08 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=4019 Earlier today there was a solar eclipse of the sun in China.

Rush Limbaugh said it just proves the unreliability of solar power.

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You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

]]> http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/22/4019/feed/ 0 The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/15/3996/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/15/3996/#comments Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:48:50 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=3996 The new Harry Potter movie opened today.

In this movie Harry faces the most evil threat yet: Dick Cheney and his secret CIA hit squad.

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You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

]]> http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/15/3996/feed/ 1 The LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/09/3971/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/09/3971/#comments Thu, 09 Jul 2009 14:00:49 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=3971 Osama bin Laden’s first wife is writing a book.

In the book she describes their wedding; after they were married their friends tied tin cans to the back of their camel.

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You can also watch the video of the entire monologue here.

]]> http://www.chumworth.com/2009/07/09/3971/feed/ 1 LATE NIGHT with JIMMY FALLON http://www.chumworth.com/2009/06/11/3908/ http://www.chumworth.com/2009/06/11/3908/#comments Thu, 11 Jun 2009 22:16:36 +0000 chumworth http://www.chumworth.com/?p=3908 Barry Bonds and his wife, Liz, are getting divorced.

Apparently she caught him injecting another woman.

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You can also watch the video of the entire show here.

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