My latest IT Underworld cartoon.

Tags: Apple, Barack Obama, cartoon, iPad, IT Underworld, ITWorld, State of the Union, Steve Job

My latest IT Underworld cartoon.

Tags: cartoon, Conan O'Brien, IT Underworld, ITWorld

My latest IT Underworld cartoon.

Tags: cartoon, Google, IT Underworld, ITWorld, Nexus One, typewriter

• survived family dinner. the bad news: the girls left the table 3 times to fart. the good news: the girls left the table 3 times to fart. #
• enjoying the defensive struggle going on in arizona. #
• more bad news for the economy: the unemployment rate is about to go up by neil rackers. #cardinals #
• we took down all the christmas gear today; it's always a little sad when i put away my red thong. #
• wow – what an ending to the cardinals-packers game. i think a certain cardinals kicker owes a certain cardinals linebacker a blow. #
• how in the hell is it monday again already? i blame the blue dogs. #
• just ate a piece of fruit, which proves that i'm working too hard to think straight. #
• this concludes the lunch portion of the day. pardon me whilst i observe a moment of silence. #
• dear lord: please let me survive these next 2 weeks without going insane. let me know if i should also ask this of allah and/or tom cruise. #
• looks like I picked the right week to not quit drinking. #

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• so far not so good for chad ochodumbass and his fellow bungles. #
• enjoying a few fingers of this: http://tinyurl.com/yjpcau5 #
• the poor old bungles. losers again. #
• the poor bengals will never be winners with those god awful uniforms. #
• preparing a heaping plate of cheese fries for cowboys-eagles – no, wait, i'm sorry, that's what jessica simpson is doing. #
• the first topless house cleaning of 2010 is on! #
• it's day two of wild card weekend in the NFL. i am doing what comes naturally to a man on these days: roasting a turkey. #
• gee, the patriots look sharp! #
• is it too late for the patriots to get in on the pete carroll bidding? #
• if i'm john harbaugh i wouldn't be expecting a hand shake from BB after this game. bill will probably be heading into the locker room soon. #
• the 10 year old clogged her first toilet of 2010 today. #
• attention male neighbors of mine: that empty NAIL SALON toy box out with the trash was for my 10 year old daughter. honest. #

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• happy hour is here! i am drinking beer, so i am happy! #
• we've ordered food from a foreign country! hint: it's not part of NAFTA or the EU. #
• hey – my IT Underworld toon made the front page of Cartoon Saturday on Open Salon! http://open.salon.com/ #
• NFL playoffs starting soon so i'm doing what most guys before football: preparing a marinade. #
• <— back by popular demand, it's my drinking avatar! let the games begin! #

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• wait – new jersey won't pass a gay marriage bill? jersey shore has given me the wrong impression that state. it seems so enlightened on TV. #
• I think I'm getting a cold, so I may take nyquil for non-recreational reasons tonight. #
• i hear the weather in new orleans is lovely in early february. i will find out for myself in a few weeks! time to buy some beads. #
• who's feeling it? i'm feeling it! could also just be gas. #
• having a strong urge to gouge my eyes out because of work. that's normal, right? #

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• i need a new plan – and possibly a new liver. #
• hmm, time now for tea or wine? ha – dumb question. it's time for scotch. #
• jimmy fallon needs WGA writers for this? "Randy Johnson is retiring from baseball… Fans wish he’d take more time to mullet over." #
• not having to write topical jokes everyday is making me lose touch with the world. have jon and kate had any more kids? #
• ok, so my town says that i can dispose of medical waste in my trash, at least until july. good to know, you know, just in case. #
• a man was arrested for running naked near the white house on wednesday. at least they think it was a man; it was pretty cold out. #
• dear MBTA: if the 4:49 train each night is going to continue to be 10 minutes late, can you just change the official departure time to 4:59? #

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• based on the number of women wearing uggs these days I'd say that the government needs to raise the terror alert level a notch or three. #
• had dinner and drinks with a friend tonight and I was clearly drunk as a skunk cause I remember something about ordering a veggie burger. #
• my oatmeal was too dry this morning. sadly, that should be my most exciting update of the day. #
• well, so far wednesdays in 2010 make me just as gassy as wednesdays in 2009. #
• looks like the office cleaning company has resolved to no longer vacuum in 2010. at least somebody is sticking to their resolutions. #

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My New Year’s Eve IT Underworld cartoon.

Happy (belated) New Year!

Tags: 2010, cartoon, Cast Away, IT Underworld, New Year's Eve, Tom Hanks, Y2K

• that 10 day old leftover meat i ate last night? well, there's still some left – and now it's 11 days old. pray for me. #
• mrs chumworth just gave the kids ice cream. anything to keep their yappers shut. #
• just turned on the fiesta bowl, took one look at the god-awful uniforms on both sides and immediately changed the channel. #
• i just tuned back into the fiesta bowl and was immediately hit with an ad for idaho potatoes. great – more propaganda from big potato. #
• back on the train to work. there goes new year's resolution number one. #
• my toes are cold. note to self: at next job review demand personal foot warming assistant. #
• can't recall if i posted this already: ALL of the jokes i submitted to @jimmyfallon are now up here: http://tinyurl.com/yb7ykoq #
• dang – forgot my watch this morning. guess i'll have to go home and get it. back in three hours. #
• an old friend has flown in all the from hawaii to buy me dinner and drinks tonight! you know who you are – thanks in advance! #
• another day, another invitation to come and speak at harvard about comedy writing. yawn. #
• heading into kenmore square to meet friend and drink beer. hopefully there isn't a red sox – or bruins – game at Fenway tonight. #

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• just got back home to find that the world's greatest neighbor had plowed my driveway and shoveled my driveway. praise jeebus! #
• about to eat 10 day old leftover meat. what could possibly go wrong? #
• whew – the toughest part of coming back from florida is adjusting to the time change. time for bed! #
• on the train to work. someone please wake me up from this nightmare. #
• dave barry: still as laugh-out-loud-funny as ever: http://tinyurl.com/y9zlx5k #
• back at work for 73 minutes and i'm ready for another long break. #
• putting on music; going to happy place. #
• RR new year's IT Underworld toon is up! Ten years after Y2K: We're finally compliant: http://bit.ly/8c0juC #
• my scale told me this morning in no uncertain terms that it's time to cut back on the beer. message received: time for a new scale. #
• realizing now that one huge perk of my previous place of employment was an ample supply of odd shaped bandages. #
• 65 across in today's Boston globe crossword: boner. #

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• the in-laws keep leaving messages to warn us about the snow back i'm Boston. they don't realize we cam pick up the Marconi signal in FLA. #
• we have officially finished all of the beer in the rental house. everything must go before tomorrow's departure! that just leaves the wine. #
• it's never a good sign when you're staying at a place and the book for guest comments has every other page torn out. #
• well, gotta take the family back north tomorrow. time to go cry myself to sleep. #
• time to leave the FLA and head back to the BOS. crap. #
• through security at jacksonville airport. flight to BOS delayed one hour. Now getting lunch; ordering something that won't make me gassy. #
• just ate a black bean burger instead of a real burger. just lost another 5% of manliness. #
• just ate a black bean burger instead of a real burger. just lost another 5% of manliness. there ain't much left. #
• the bad news: flight departure now delayed until 3:00. the good news: the steeler game is on here at the gate. not so bad. #
• looks like our plane is here. guess we really will have to go home. #
• we're on the plane! perfect. just in time for the second half of the steelers spanking the dolphins. #
• about to take off for BOS. starting to look forward to getting home to my own beer. #
• wheels down in Boston! based on what I see outside the window, I'm starting to question my decision to wear shorts for the flight home. #
• now playing baggage roulette at Logan airport. let's see if our luggage was on board… #

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• drinking beer, making tacos and playing the whole beastie boys catalog. this is what newly minted 40 year olds do on vacation. sad. #
• the 10 year old just clogged her first toilet in Florida. that's three states down, forty seven to go. #
• last full day in FLA, meaning last day for me to make an idiot of myself in the wetsuit. #
• on second thought, it's too cold for swimming today. I have delicate constitution, you know. #
• taking the kids to a nature preserve, which they will enjoy whether they like it or not. #
• we're hiking through a nature preserve which, unfortunately, doesn't seem to have a starbucks. #
• the kids are in the hot tub which is good cause if there's one thing that kids 10 and under need it's a long, relaxing soak. #

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• lighting fireworks on the beach! and drinking. #
• fireworks done! all digits still in place. time to put the kiddos to bed and for more booze. #
• the kids are almost in bed. once they are we pop open the champagne. after a few more drinks I'll be ready to moon 2009. adios, bitch. #
• we've busted out the bubbly and the beastie boys. things are getting wild in northern FLA. #
• look at me – staying up until the new year, like a kid. apparently, life does begin at 40! clearly I am drunk. #
• hey – it's 2010! whatever. let's get this year over with. #
• first workout of 2010 is in the books. still waiting on first attack of gas in 2010. shouldn't be long. #
• it's a rainy day here in FLA. may need to wear pants. dang. #
• new year's IT Underworld toon is up! Ten years after Y2K: We're finally compliant: http://bit.ly/8c0juC #
• once again I got some brilliant thinking done in the shower. with enough soap and water I could solve the problems in the mid east. #
• due to the rain in FLA we're gonna skip the swimming and take the kids bowling instead. I may still wear my wetsuit. #
• just took the kids bowling at the worst bowling alley ever. on the plus side, I was invited to join the PBA ( again). #

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