• Sarah Palin has finished her memoir. It's the first political memoir that features a pull-out centerfold. #
• clementines! yummy. #
• Sarah Palin has finished her memoir. It won't be published until November, but excerpts will be published before then in Guns & Ammo. #
• dear bank of america: your new ATMs that read checks being deposited keep rejecting my checks. bring back deposits by envelope. bitches. #
• hello to my new twitter buddies at the LA Times! must be something in the water out there today. #
• the 7 year old is trying to teach mrs chumworth some sort of card game that involves slapping. little kids are like drunk people. #
• i'm drawing a cartoon and eating nilla wafers. how old am i? sad. #
• the cat's snoring. that means it's time for bed. #

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• not only is it monday, but i have to go to the dentist – and i am home with the kids all day. what have i done to deserve such suffering? #
• time to go to the dentist. pinch me – i must be dreaming! #
• tweeting from the dentist's chair. he scraped the gunk off my teeth and has now disappeared, leaving me wearing a bib. #
• back from the dentist. teeth and gums are stellar! yet, i didn't get a sticker. wtf? #
• the kids are making a helluva ruckus downstairs. time for the one sure fire solution: food. well, aside from duct tape. that works too. #
• dear work: please stop kicking my ass. it is really getting sore. have a heart. #
• just got another check from dave letterman! that's going right into one of the following: retirement savings, college savings or beer money. #
• what a beautiful day out there! i hearby grant all gentlemen in the boston area the "pants optional right" for the remainder of the day. #
• we're heading out to dinner. the whole family. at a restaurant. in public. pray for me. #
• survived dinner out with kids. or, rather, they survived. it was looking dicey there for a while. #
• wade phillips needs a bra. or a bro. or a manzier. #mnf #
• new cartoon: W was only off by one letter: http://tinyurl.com/ycg376j #

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Tags: Barack Obama, Carla Bruni, cartoon, G20, George Bush, Gordon Brown, Iran, Iraq, Nicolas Sarkozy, nuclear weapons, Pittsburgh, tea

• ooof – i am up! what a night. guests coming soon for brunch. i will work my magic at the stove cooking up sausages. #
• guests arrive in 50 minutes. i've been told to put on pants. i had no idea this was a formal event. #
• guests have gone, after a fine brunch gathering. ass now on couch for football, joke writing and cartooning. plus beer soon. #
• TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!! sweet. #steelers #
• i love playing the bengals! #steelers #
• chad ochodumbass: still sucks. #steelers #
• uh… i call fix. #steelers #
• ok, there's some critter living in our barn. might be time to move. #
• it was a skunk in the barn! left the door open, just saw him leave. the women folk were duly impressed with my bravery. #
• today sucked, so now i really can't wait to see how badly monday is going to blow. #

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• well, lookie whose cartoon is featured on open salon's cartoon saturday! http://open.salon.com hint: mine! http://tinyurl.com/nt2cn6 #
• bills paid. cat food bought. now to mow the lawn. gotta get the chores done to get to saturday night beer drinking. #
• the 7 year old's newest catch phrase: "fire in the hole!" note to self: cut back on the mexican food. #
• <—- and so it begins. #
• just saw that dave letterman told one of my jokes on last night's show! plus: got a nice check from him today. thanks dave! #
• drinking beer. about to go outside with the family and gather round the fire pit. what could go wrong? #

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• just wrote a fart joke about the UN General Assembly. once again i embarrass myself. #
• been at my desk for 2 minutes and i can already tell it's going to be one of those days. #
• finally got my business cards for my job (which i started in june). i now have several hundreds cards with my name spelled wrong. perfect. #
• sweet lord on high could i ever use a few drinks tonight. #
• let's end this work week with a new IT Underworld cartoon. why the hell not? http://tinyurl.com/y8cy9v2 #
• freaking A, i quit. #
• getting the kids in bed early. the key to an enjoyable Friday evening. #

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• caught a later commuter train this morning than usual. different people, same smell. #
• A woman in Indonesia gave birth to a 19.2-pound baby boy this week. The baby's so big he skipped formula and went right to cheese fries. #
• cranium approaching combustion point again. #
• going to catch the commuter train – or, as i call it, the swine flu express. #
• waiting for 9 year old's musical rehearsal to end so I can take her home. next time I'll just let her drive herself. #

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• boy, i could use some pampering today. somehow, i don't think that'll be happening. #
• on the train to work writing UN General Assembly jokes. such is my life. #
• hey – look who's cartoon (IT Underworld) is picked as one of the best tech cartoons by PC World! http://tinyurl.com/n7lblc #
• brew a fresh pot of coffee at work: check. improperly set coffee pot in machine so freshly brewed coffee overflows onto floor: check! #
• these pretzels will no doubt make everything better. #
• retirement can't come soon enough. thank god the stock market is solid as a rock so my 401k will support me. #
• the problem with responding to emails is that it just generates more emails. lesson learned. #
• my bagels are fragrant. that sounds dirty. #
• mrs chumworth is heading out to dinner leaving me alone with … THEM! send help. #
• just found the anti-itch cream in the kids' arts and crafts cabinet. makes sense. #
• 9 year old is in the shower while the 7 year old is dropping a deuce on the crapper and they're chattering away. don't make me go in there. #

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PC World – in their kind and infinite wisdom – has seen fit to pick my technology cartoon, IT Underworld, as one of the funniest tech cartoons on the web!

They even led off the article with this one that I recently did:

I am humbled and honored and would like to thank my family, the academy and one JR Raphael for a very fine piece of journalism.

Thanks, JR!

In other cartooning news, I’m posting my new editorial cartoons over on Open Salon, and a couple have already been deemed an Editor’s Pick! If you like them, please swing by and give them some love.

Tags: cartoon, IT Underworld, ITWorld

• note to the whomever on this commuter train is drenched in perfume: i believe chemical warfare is in violation of international law. #
• it's only 10:00am. i'll never make it to lunch. #
• i am working way too hard. god damn my ridiculous work ethic. #
• racing home to my beer. i'm coming to you, sweetie! #
• letting the kids listen to a kids music station while they eat. pure torture. #
• here endeth another day of failure, disappointment and personal embarrassment. can't wait to do it again tomorrow! #
• President Obama chaired the UN General Assembly meeting this week. Meanwhile, John McCain chaired a meeting of his ham radio club. #

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• ok, monday, clearly you are not going away, so do your thing. just be gentle, please. #
• new cartoon: one thing the republicans and democrats can agree on: http://tinyurl.com/nmoqck #
• booking trip to portland in the OR for first week of november. this should be good. #
• about to dive into leftover medley for lunch. this can't possibly end well. #
• ok, here's what i want for christmas: http://tinyurl.com/n5jmvr #
• hey – looks whose latest cartoon is an Editor's Pick on Open Salon! alert the neighbors… http://tinyurl.com/nt2cn6 #
• i love when i send someone an email asking a question and i get a response that completely ignores the question. #
• gonna go try and get the 7 year old clean. may need the brillo pads. #
• thinking of buying a zune HD? review my latest IT Underworld cartoon first: http://tinyurl.com/llddwr #
• feeling gassy. a nice bowl of chili should help that. #
• our 7 year old can read at about an 8th grade level but she still can't blow her nose. #
• despite what joe namath says, suzy kolber is not hot. rachel nichols, on the other hand, is a whole other matter. #
• A woman won dinner w/ Sara Palin by bidding $63,000. The good news is she can deduct it – as well as the cost of having her head examined. #

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• breakfast: coffee and candy corn. #
• sprucing up the football watching area – topless. #
• just cleaned the chumworth and am now planted on the couch for the rest of the day. beer me. #
• <— i'm ready. #
• wow. the jets talked smack all week and the pats just laid down and died. #
• bill belichick always flees the field after a loss like it's the scene of a crime. classy as ever. #
• i'm starting this game even with my gimpy groin. that's just how i roll. #
• TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! nice opening to the game, boys. #steelers #
• looks like the steelers are already starting to run out the clock. #steelers #
• for some reason the steelers are insisting on making this game a game. unacceptable. #steelers #
• mrs chumworth is making chili, but this game is already giving me major gas. #
• WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! BIG BEN TAKES IT TO THE HOUSE! suddenly i feel less gassy. #steelers #
• big ben is announcing his presence with authority. #steelers #
• i'm seriously considering renaming my 7 year old daughter santonio. #steelers #
• i'm going to pretend i didn't just see that. #steelers #
• frankly, this is unacceptable. jeff reed should be waterboarded. #steelers #
• pure fluke, this game. oh well. at least next week is a bye week. i mean, technically we play the bengals, but same thing. #
• i love bengals fans talking trash! or, rather, trying to. same old bungles. #
• ok, let's see if i win a writing emmy with the letterman staff and then head to bed. #Emmys #
• dang. shut out again. time to get in the buff and hit the sack. #

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Tags: cartoon, Democrats, health care exchange, health care reform, illegal immigrants, Republicans

• enjoying some quality spongebob time. #
• 9 year old watching early jon & kate plus 8 shows (pre-divorce). this show is much more interesting in retrospect… #
• gonna go to BJs. it's never as fun as it sounds. #
• lawn mowed. time to shower up, down and all around. #
• snack pack pudding was better back when it came in a can. i think the cans were made of lead and, possibly, so was the pudding. mmmm. #
• we have candy corn! #
• <— beer's on! #
• just gave the 7 year old her first shower with her new cast on. thank goodness for waterproof casts. the beer is flowing here. #
• dear mitt romney: take your magic underwear and go far, far away. #
• looks like i touched a nerve with the mitt romney folks. now hanging "mission accomplished" banner. #
• spies like us! been a long time. plus: brownies! mmm. #

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• i am back in the office today. somebody stole my pen while i was gone. well, it was a company pen, but still, it felt like mine. #
• the 7 year old went to school today with a spiffy new baby blue cast on her wrist for everyone to sign. happy as a clam, she is. #
• for those who care: letterman is taping next tuesday's show (w/ bill clinton) on monday. the friday show will be taped on tuesday. FYI. #
• should i be worried that the video camera on my macbook is often on for no apparent reason? i think i'm being followed by helicopters too. #
• corndog! #
• <— not like i deserve this or anything. #
• time for more beer. #
• i'm currently reading a book about the sinking of the lusitania. in honor of that i'm drinking the following beer: http://tinyurl.com/bjow3r #
• watching a russell crowe movie. sadly, it's not gladiator. #
• time to get in my jammies. #

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• well, cleveland, it is time for me to leave. thanks for everything. you rocked – sort of. a little bit. you meant well, I know. #
• always heartening to see folks boozing it up at the airport bar at 8:30 am. #
• on plane to philadelphia. this plane is so small I think it's powered by a rubber band. #
• wheels down again in philly. next stop: the food court, then another flight to BOS. then home to scrub off cooties from fellow passengers. #
• on the Philly airport shuttle bus to get from terminal F to terminal C. doesn't look like they're gonna offer beverage service. #
• I leave town for all of 24 hours and the 7 year old breaks her wrist. thank god I'll be home soon to prevent any other catastrophies. #
• back on the ground in Boston! always good to make it home alive. #
• i am at home, but now there are FOUR little girls here. perhaps i should have stayed in cleveland… #
• new IT Underworld cartoon posted (a few days back): stress testing! http://tinyurl.com/nzffog #

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• at Logan airport waiting to fly to cleveland. I hope I run into drew carey there! #
• on the plane waiting for takeoff. they still serve complimentary champagne in coach, right? #
• on the ground in philadelphia. now on to cleveland. still living dream. #
• here I am in cleveland! so far I don't see or hear any rocking, but it is early. #
• just realized that i accidentally transported a library book over state lines. that's illegal, isn't it? #
• work activities over! time now to kick back and party in Cleveland! I figure I'll be in bed by 9:00. #
• watch out – i am breathing garlic. #

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• 24 hours from now i will be on my way to cleveland. i leave you to write the punchline. #
• going to pick up a sandwich. stay out of my way and you won't get hurt. #
• time to fill out the old self evaluation form for work. need to look up a whole bunch of new superlatives. #
• uh oh – this self evaluation form for work isn't going as well as i had hoped. #
• my commuter train is running 10 minutes late. like I need more proof that god hates me. #
• i've hit the wall in this tuesday crossword puzzle way too soon. so much for all that college learnin. #
• back from curriculum night at school for the second grader. nice event but booze would've made it nicer. #
• gotta hit the sack so i can catch a real early flight to cleveland. it'd be a shame to sleep in and miss it. yeah. shame. #

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• it's monday again. al qaeda has already claimed credit. #
• A woman in PA was arrested for letting her 6-yr-old drive an SUV. That's really irresponsible – letting your child drive such a gas guzzler. #
• thank goodness there are nut jobs out there like kanye west to make painfully lame shows like the video music awards interesting. #
• well, i think i just reached my recommended daily sodium intake – and it's only 1:00pm! #
• dear twitter followers: nothing personal, but i don't want to join your mafia family. please stop asking. #
• django reinhardt – always a good choice if you need to buck up. kind of like beer. #
• just made this crossword puzzle my bitch – well, the lower right hand corner of it, at least. #
• note to self: stop with the bean soup for lunch. it's bad for the ozone layer. #
• attention football fans: if you're sitting in the stands wearing a football helmet you look like an idiot. #
• in case you haven't had enough you lie/joe wilson cartoons, here's mine: http://tinyurl.com/qopuzs #

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Tags: Barack Obama, cartoon, Dick Cheney, IHOP, Joe Wilson

• warming up for football sunday with some coffee and spongebob. #
• brain awake. liver still sleeping. let's go mow the lawn. #
• butt planted on couch for football. now, just need to shove the children outside and lock the doors for the next 4-5 hours. #
• working on a cartoon about rep. joe wilson. i'm thinking it'll involve IHOP. #
• brett favre just scored – and without any viagra! #
• i knew the cleveland browns hiring eric mangini would pay off – for the steelers. i'm embarrassed for the poor browns fans. #
• nice display of tackling there by the browns on that AP TD run. on the plus side, no chance of them catching the swine flu from the vikings. #
• browns game ended in time to catch the bengals soil themselves against the broncos. funny! #
• mrs chumworth just hopped in the car and took off. the kids are here. i assume she's coming back. eventually. #
• just ate chinese food leftovers. general gao (or gau or tso, depending where you live) should be promoted to field marshal. #
• i feel bloated. could be the leftover chinese food – or that time of the month. #

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• we ate. we drank. we made merry. and now i have gas. figures. #
• stuck inside the house with the kids on a rainy day. it's like gitmo with cable. #
• hey look – my obama school speech cartoon (http://tinyurl.com/ohflrf) made the open salon cartoon saturday page! http://open.salon.com/ #
• highlight of the day coming up: scrubbing out the cat's litter box. #
• house clean. chumworth not. let us rectify that, pronto. #
• just bought green bananas. feeling optimistic! thanks obama! #
• the kids just got their halloween costumes. it's almost candy corn season! #
• time to drink beer. #
• mrs chumworth bought a new shower curtain. it's plain and blue. coulda sworn i requested a steelers or batman shower curtain. #
• time to order some chinese food. #

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• well the steelers got it done but that game kept me up way too late last night. i need every minute of beauty sleep i can get. #
• President Obama will appear on CBS’s “60 Minutes” this Sunday. A lot of kids have already said they won't let their parents watch. #
• it's nice to be nice – to the nice. #
• brother-in-law, nephew and MIL and FIL coming over tonight for a big par-tay! gotta head out soon and pick up booze. #
• my commuter train home left the station five minutes late. see? eight months of obama-nomics and we've devolved into anarchy. #
• <— the booze is flowing! huge meal being prepared for family gathering. #

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• this will be a fun day: working from home around school meeting, medical procedure and contractor replacing basement windows. pinch me! #
• Obama says that no one should go broke because they got sick. He says people should only go broke because they invest in the stock market. #
• time for a toaster waffle. #
• early lunch then off to the doctor for some fun! #
• ok, I've made it into the exam room. now we just need the doctor. good time for a nap. #
• done with doc and getting coffee on the way home. thanks Obama! #
• now i have a sore spot from the where the doc was working on me. i blame obama. #
• gearing up for the steeler game by drinking beer, making dinner and stretching groin. #
• i am ready for some football! #
• the 7 year old just broke a glass. that'll be coming out of her inheritance. #
• they should've just hired a polka band to play before the steelers game, instead of the black eyed peas. #steelers #
• oh no – some awful singer in a cowboy hat is making an annoying racket on my TV. can we please kick off now? #steelers #
• please – stop with the country music. i'm begging now. #steelers #
• six time super bowl champs! still brings a tear to my eye. #steelers #
• whoa – harry connick, jr looks like he ate harry connick, sr. #steelers #
• AHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA! muff! #steelers #
• somebody get me the steeler o-line coach on the horn pronto. time for a chewing out. #steelers #
• POLAMALU! nice job. would've helped more if took that one back to the house, but hey, we'll take it. #steelers #
• clearly big ben and the offense are trying to get off the field fast in order to conserve energy for later. smart. #steelers #
• freaking A santonio holmes is a player. reminds me of myself back in the day. #steelers #
• BLOCK! ha. this is getting weird. we'll take it. the cat's licking herself next to me. #steelers #
• TOUCHDOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! wheeeee! almost forgot how much fun it is to score! #steelers #
• yawn. lucky titans drive. they should be ashamed to accept those points. #steelers #

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• letterman told one of my swine flu jokes last night. doesn't get me out of going to work today. #
• well, this day has not started off well. in other words, it's like most every other day. #
• i'm eating wraps far too often for lunch here at my new(ish) workplace. embarrassing. #
• ok, i need a rich prince to marry me and take me away from all this. er, i mean princess. #
• the kids are extra whiny tonight. good thing they don't get that trait from me. #
• so, i was gonna watch the obama speech, but mrs chumworth nixed it in favor of so you think you can dance. #
• i give this cat a nice home, food and medical care and she still insists on sitting on the TV remote. some thanks. #

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• heading to work – unless somebody steps up and hijacks this commuter train to hawaii. pfft, i should be so lucky. #
• here's a cartoon i did on obama's speech to school kids: http://tinyurl.com/mzo2en #
• why did i eat that? #
• heading home on the train. i'd say the work day is over, but when there's kid at home the work day ain't never over. #
• gotta take the 9 year old to play rehearsal tonight. i don't mind driving her, but i refuse to wear the chauffeur outfit. #

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Tags: Barack Obama, cartoon, George Bush, God, Intelligent Design

• back from family breakfast out. i'm on a home fries high! #
• just in time for labor day, a new IT Underworld cartoon has been posted. exploding iphones… http://tinyurl.com/lm6xk2 #
• the kids are back from swimming. so much for the peace and quiet. #
• getting ready to pack up and head back south to massachusetts. relaxing long weekend almost over. trying not to cry. #
• heading home in the family truckster. #
• almost home. can feel blood pressure rising accordingly. #
• the jokes just ain't flowing today. #
• 7:56pm monday evening: ready for bed. not a good way to start the week. #
• finishing up a cartoon on obama's speech to school kids. then it's off to bed. #

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• up, drinking (coffee), and watching scooby doo with the squirts. #
• note to self: time for a new razor blade. almost lopped nose off this morning with the old one. #
• just did some clothes shopping. i told you that pudding yesterday was going to go right to my hips. #
• gotta feed the kids, then drag em for a walk on the beach. #

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• up at the crack of 8:44, watching back in the barnyard with kids. time to caffeinate. #
• big day of grilling food and drinking beer coming up! mmmm. first, let's boils some eggs. #
• i have breakfasted-up. now time to shower-up then head to the supermarket to meat-up for grilling. #
• going food shopping for animal flesh to grill. plus some nilla wafers, just because they rock. #
• the nine year old just clocked the seven year old. it's like a college football game here. #
• FIL just took the kids out to go swimming. oh sweet sweet peace and quiet, how we have missed you. #
• just made coffee using a french press. or is it called a freedom press now? #
• the beer is flowing! almost time to fire up the grill. alert the fire department. #

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• gotta take the kids to school. not to brag, but i'm really good at it. #
• working from home this morning. the best part: unlimited toaster waffles. #
• i just took the kids to school, now i have to go pick them up already. what was the point? #
• ok, gonna go mow the lawn, the we pack up the kiddos and head to maine for the weekend. beer drinking will commence as soon as we arrive. #
• i am literally forcing the kids to play outside while i mow the lawn. i'm locking them out of the house. #
• the mailman just brought a check from mr letterman! i love when that happens. #
• next stop: maine! here we come… #
• we have arrived in maine! time for a beer. #
• just had pudding. that'll go right to my hips. #
• gonna go curl up with my book on the sinking of the lusitania. may need to light some candles and set the mood properly. #

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• mr letterman told one of my eliot spitzer jokes last night. thanks dave! #
• ok, i give up. #
• my banana broke. i hate when that happens. #
• another day, another ulcer. #
• i just told the kids 2 days of school down, only 178 to go! they didn't seem excited. #
• behold for i am about to whip up a magnificent red sauce using home grown tomatoes. form one orderly line to the left, please, ladies. #
• watch out – i'm breathing garlic! #
• alrighty then: here's my eliot spitzer joke that dave letterman told last night: http://tinyurl.com/ks49ff #

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• it's the first day of school! praise jesus, christmas has come early. #
• the kids are at school! pure insanity this morning. #
• The Yankees are cutting the price of seats behind home plate for the playoffs from $2,500 to $275 – no, I'm sorry, that's for a hot dog. #
• once again i find myself asking "why did i get out of bed today?" #
• RR: here's my jenna bush joke that dave letterman told monday night: http://tinyurl.com/mqrbqb #
• looks like i'm going to portland, OR in early november. they speak english there, right? #
• first day of school for the kids and they already have homework? well, better them than me. #
• making dinner for the kids. like money in the bank for retirement. they owe me. #
• just ate 10 day old sausage. what could go wrong? #
• why oh why do i check work email in the evening? always a mistake. #

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• dave letterman told one of my jenna bush on the today shows jokes last night. good way to start a tuesday! #
• new cartoon up: dick cheney doesn't trust obama: http://tinyurl.com/nab7mz #
• Vikings QB Brett Favre has a cracked rib. He's pretty banged up; he's also got glaucoma and osteoporosis. #
• 2 douchebags on the train near me talking loudly and making noise with their phones. if only I had the swine flu so I could breath on them. #
• three months now I've been taking the train to work. screw al gore; I'd rather be back in my car driving. #
• here's my jenna bush joke that dave letterman told last night: http://tinyurl.com/mqrbqb #
• there's a recurring theme in my IT Underworld cartoons. can you guess what it is? http://tinyurl.com/lp8bsu #

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Tags: Barack Obama, cartoon, Dick Cheney

• why is moammar khadafy still only a colonel? seems like he should be a general by now. #
• contractor showed up unannounced today to rebuild cupola on barn, finally. i need to be mentally prepared for these things. #
• uh oh – mrs chuworth is home sick, puking. this better not be that swine thing. #
• this day and week are not starting well. on the plus side, better to get all the bad karma out of the way before football season starts. #
• the contractor called. turns out the job is bigger than expected. what are the odds? #
• 3:07pm: i am starting to feel awake and ready for the work day – just in time to go home! #
• dinner just got in my belly. now drawing a new cartoon. #

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