MONDAY: My wife and I took our son Harry to see the fireworks on Saturday night. It was the biggest fireworks he’s seen, other than one of our fights.
MONDAY: Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska on Friday. Here’s how it works: she resigned on Friday and on July 26 she’ll officially transfer her wardrobe to the lieutenant governor.
MONDAY: Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska on Friday. She said she’s looking forward to spending more time with her wardrobe.
MONDAY: Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska on Friday. Here’s how it works: on July 26 she turns over power to the Lt Gov Sean Parnell, at which time I start apologizing to him.
MONDAY: Congratulations to Joey Chestnut, who won hot dog eating contest on July 4th after eating 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Afterward he said he fell bloated, nauseous and sick; he said it was just like eating one Yankee Stadium hot dog.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Former President George W. Bush turns 63 today. Instead of blowing out the candles on his cake he had Dick Cheney waterboard it.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Former President George W. Bush turns 63 today. His friends threw him a party and had a girl jump out of cake and then Dick Cheney waterboarded her.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Former President George W. Bush turns 63 today. His friends got him one of those big novelty cakes and pulled a guy dressed like Saddam Hussein out of it.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Former President George W. Bush turns 63 today. He celebrated by taking it easy, not doing any work and hanging out his ranch. It’s the same way he spent his eight years as president.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Former President George W. Bush turns 63 today. He celebrated with his family by having a quiet dinner at Chuck E. Cheese’s.
MONDAY: Michael Jackson’s memorial service is set for Tuesday in the Staples Center in Los Angeles. It’ll be a huge event – James Brown will be the opening act.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Spam turned 72 yesterday. It’s the oldest lunch meat in America – other than the roast beef at the Hello Deli.
FRIDAY: Celebrity birthdays: the Triborough Bridge here in New York turns 73 today. It’s 73 years old, has undergone several major facelifts and still accepts passengers – no, wait, I’m sorry, that’s Barbara Walters.
FRIDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Jessica Simpson turns 29 today. Her friends threw her a party and had a cake jump out of a cake.
Good news: the Statue of Liberty’s crown has been reopened to the public. It’s a good deal: $15 to go up to the crown. That’s the cheapest it’ll cost you to get inside a woman’s skirt outside of Times Square.
Congratulations to Rosie O’Donnell whose getting her satellite radio show. I’m thinking, great, that’s all we need – another ex-jock on the radio.
Here in New York City researchers at the Brooklyn Museum discovered that a 2,000-year-old mummy that they thought was a woman was really a man. They discovered it after they used a special CT scanner for ancient bodies that they borrowed from Joan Rivers’ doctor.
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