Barry Bonds and his wife, Liz, are getting divorced. They’ve agreed to split all their assets: the house, the money and her clean urine.

Work began Monday on the nation’s largest mass transit project â€" an $8.7 billion passenger train beneath the Hudson River. The ceremony was attended were representatives of the city, the state and organized crime.

Rupert Murdoch is renting his summer home on the North Shore of Long Island to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for $100,000 a month. It’s good deal: it comes with 11 bedrooms, 7 fireplaces and 5 more kids.

Sarah Palin was in New York City on Sunday. She said she now knows all about organized crime because she could see New Jersey from her hotel room.

A man in New Hampshire drove his car at a friend on Saturday after they argued over a $10 bar tab. The man said he regretted it and that next time he wants to run over his friend he’ll use a designated driver.

Astronomers announced this week that they’ve discovered a massive black hole in a nearby galaxy that’s 6.4 billion times the mass of the sun. They say it’s the most massive black hole ever seen – other than NBC’s prime time development budget.

A 93-year-old man and an 89-year-old woman got married on Sunday in West Palm Beach, Florida. The wedding went fine until the guests started throwing rice and almost killed the bride and groom.

Apple’s CEO Steve Jobs was noticeably absent on Monday when the company’s vice president unveiled the new iPhone. It turns out was actually there, he was just standing sideways so nobody could see him.

A company has developed a new at-home gender testing kit for pregnant women. The company says if it works for pregnant women then they’ll try using it on American Idol finalists.