MONDAY: Yesterday was Mother’s Day.
I couldn’t be with my mom on Mother’s Day, so I arranged to have a flowers sent to her directly at the Indian Casino.
MONDAY: Economists say the economy got a big boost from Mother’s Day.
They said most of it was due to the Octomom.
MONDAY: Yesterday for Mother’s Day my son Harry wanted to make his mom breakfast in bed.
So, I let him place the order with the cook.
MONDAY: The new Star Trek movie was the number one movie over the weekend.
It made $75 million this weekend, which is amazing considering that none of that was from anyone on a date.
MONDAY: Pope Benedict XVI is in Israel this week.
It’s the first visit by a religious leader to a war zone since the last time Tom Cruise was on The View.
MONDAY: President Obama was a big hit telling jokes at the White House Correspondent’s dinner on Saturday.
He was so funny that earlier today NBC gave him the 10:00 slot.
FRIDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Liberace would have turned 90 tomorrow.
For those of you too young to remember Liberace let me describe him: he was like Elton John on performance enhancing drugs.
Here in New York City they’re starting to charge rent at homeless shelters.
Homeless shelters have gotten so expensive that homeless people are starting to commute in from New Jersey.
The White House Aide who approved the Air Force One flyover of Manhattan resigned on Friday.
He said he’s looking forward to approving illegal flyovers in the private sector.
Congratulations to Dolly Parton who was awarded an honorary doctorate last week.
That’s right – she received an honorary degree from the University of Tennessee in Knockersville – no, I’m sorry, I mean, Knoxville.
Manny Ramirez of the Dodgers tested positive last week for a female fertility drug.
He’s been suspended by baseball for 50 games. Well, technically, it’s not a suspension; it’s maternity leave.
Manny Ramierz of the Dodgers was suspended last week for 50 games for testing positive for a banned substance.
He says he didn’t know he had taken a banned substance which is believable since he said he also didn’t know who the president is, what city he’s playing in or what the swine flu is.
They’re saying now that Manny Ramirez’s 50-game suspension will cost him $7.7 million.
Earlier today he tested positive for anti-depressants.
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to have a debate about legalizing marijuana for recreational use.
Here’s what he’s proposing: an open debate between proponents and opponents, followed by a pose off.
Last week Google brought in a herd of goats to mow the lawn at its California headquarters to save energy.
The Obamas are doing a similar thing at the White House to be green, but it involves Joe Biden and some garden shears.
[link]
