MONDAY: Earlier today down in Washington President Obama held his first cabinet meeting.
It all went smoothly, except for when Joe Biden screwed up Obama’s coffee order.
MONDAY: Earlier today down in Washington President Obama held his first cabinet meeting and ordered his department heads to cut $100 million from the budget.
The Secretary of Transportation suggested we could save at least the much by switching to Geico.
MONDAY: Madonna was thrown from a horse on Sunday.
She’s OK but, just to be safe, for the next six weeks she won’t mount a Yankee.
MONDAY: The Yankees lost to the Indians on Saturday 22-4.
Here’s how bad it was: half way through the game Madonna started hitting on the Indians.
MONDAY: The Yankees lost to the Indians on Saturday 22-4.
Nobody has scored on the Yankees like that since Madonna.
MONDAY: Congratulations to Kristen Dalton who was named Miss USA yesterday.
You can tell that the bad economy affected the pageant. For the talent portion of the competition, she repossessed a house.
FRIDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Shirley MacLaine turns 75 today.
She had a great birthday. In fact, she said it was the best 75th birthday she’s ever had.
FRIDAY: Four years ago today Pope Benedict became the pope.
He celebrated quietly with a bunch of cardinals at the Vatican Hooters.
A woman was arrested last week for peeking into the windows of Britney Spears’ home.
Not only that, but they also charged her with kicking the tires.
A piece of English royal wedding cake from 1871 was auctioned off last week for $215.
It was a package deal: it came with an optional entrée of fish or chicken from 1871.
A piece of English royal wedding cake from 1871 was auctioned off last week for $215.
I would’ve bid on it but I figured if I wanted an ancient, inedible dessert cake I’ll just get a Twinkie.
Isaiah Thomas has been hired as the new basketball coach at Florida International University.
He said he would give back his first year’s salary. Earlier today the Knicks asked if he’d give back his last year’s salary as their head coach.
United Airlines announced this week that they’re going to start making passengers who can’t fit into one seat buy two tickets.
The good news for those passengers is they’ll get two bags of complimentary pretzels.
Elizabeth Hasselbeck was hit by a bike messenger here in New York City last week.
I had no idea Rosie O’Donnell was working as a bike messenger.
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