On Thursday President Obama held an online town hall meeting. He received 104,000 questions and 50,000 offers for male enhancement.

A Michigan man has been sentenced to 90 days in prison for having sex with a car wash vacuum. He said the worst part of getting caught was having to tell his home vacuum.

Miss Montana Jennifer Hepner has been charged with driving under the influence. Police say when they pulled her over she couldn’t recite the alphabet – but they didn’t say how they could tell she was drunk.

A 105-year-old great-great-great-grandmother will throw out the first pitch for a Florida Marlins spring training game next week. She’s only throwing out one pitch because the Marlins want to keep her fresh for the regular season.

On Thursday, Brazil’s President blamed the economic crisis on “white people with blue eyes.” I’m thinking, how can you blame the economic crisis on Michael Jackson?

The Oregon Urology Institute is encouraging men to get a vasectomy during the NCAA tournament. They say it’s the best time to sit on the couch, recover and watch the seeds go down.

New satellite pictures were released today showing a launchpad from which North Korea plans to launch a rocket next month. Intelligence officials say they couldn’t tell at first whether they were looking at a launch tower or Kim Jong Il’s hair.

This week the Postmaster General told Congress the post office will run out of money this year unless it gets help. The good news is Congress has approved the money. The bad news is they said the check is in the mail.

A Senate subcommittee is going to hold hearings on how college football chooses its national champion. There are two competing plans for choosing a college football champion: the Democrats’ plan involves a playoff system and the Republicans plan involves cutting taxes for the rich.

A Senate subcommittee is going to hold hearings on how college football chooses its national champion. Experts say whatever plan they come up with will involve some sort of playoff system and lots of new bridges.