Twitter Updates for 2009-03-27
- now writing monologue jokes for two late night shows. That means twice the rejection! Just what i need. #
- here i am at work for the fourth day in a row! no, wait – i took monday off. three days in a row! my work ethic is legendary. #
- Hillary Clinton blames America’s demand for drugs for Mexico’s drug violence. On the plus side it’s also given us Pineapple Express. #
- attention boston bruins fans: apparently you have a woman playing center: http://tinyurl.com/cmrmlz #
- well, that sandwich certainly was enjoyable going down. now, not so much. #
- ok, quitting while i’m ahead. and by “ahead” i mean “just as behind as ever”, so i may as well leave. #
- if i wasn’t already married i would be down on one knee proposing to my beloved A1 sauce. liquid smack, that stuff. how i love it! #
- my hair is starting to get some kramer-like lift. haircut postponed. the comedy value is too great. #
- writing up sample math questions to help 9 year old study for test tomorrow. they all involve bottles of beer. #
- A Michigan man got 90 days in prison for having sex with a car wash vacuum. He said the worst part was having to tell his home vacuum. #
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