• just ate oatmeal. on the weekend. voluntarily. i need help. #
• finishing up second cup of coffee and wrote first joke of the day. starting to feel human. #
• time to clean the cat’s food dish and litter box, not that she’ll ever thank me. #
• it’s still spring training but i just wrote my first yankee stadium hot dog joke of the season! #
• (this joke if for wednesday): Celebrity birthdays: Elton John turns 62 today. He had a celebration fit for a queen. #
• dear elisabeth hasselbeck: go away. #
• time for coffee and heaping hunk of chocolate cake. #
• Today in 1857 the first elevator was installed in NYC. That first elevator needed a guy to operate it and another guy to play bad music. #
• here’s the part in the godfather where the godfather dies. ooops – hope i didn’t ruin that for anybody. #
• got the pitt-oklahoma state basketball game on. i haven’t even had a drink. #
• am i the only person who thinks the etrade baby ads aren’t funny? i think so. completely lame. #
• drinking some tasty massachusetts beer: http://tinyurl.com/d4lny8 #
• ok, fine. switched to the boozing avatar! #
• dumb question: obviously, when a doctor tells you to fast the night before a medical test that doesn’t include chocolate cake – right? #
• i was thinking of sleeping in the buff tonight but i don’t think i’m up for the heckling from mrs chumworth. #

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