It was a wet, rainy, nasty day here in New York today.

It was so bad today that Robert Novak ran over Al Roker.

Down in Guantanamo, Cuba this week they’re trying Osama bin Laden’s former driver.

After this trial is over they’ll be trying his former massage therapist.

Down in Guantanamo, Cuba this week they’re trying Osama bin Laden’s former driver.

He’s on trial for crimes against AAA.

Down in Guantanamo, Cuba this week they’re trying Osama bin Laden’s former driver.

Thanks to the trial we’re already learning a lot more about Osama bin Laden. For example, he’s a lousy tipper.

Celebrity birthdays: Barry Bonds turns 44 today.

At his birthday party they played pin the tail on the donkey with his steroid needles.

Celebrity birthdays: Barry Bonds turns 44 today.

You can tell he had a really fancy birthday cake because earlier today he tested positive for fondant.

The national minimum wage went up today by 70 cents.

That means for the first time since 1997 my staff will get a raise.

Over in London this week Madame Tussauds unveiled a wax version of Amy Winehouse.

Here are the specs: it’s 6 feet tall and made of wax and cotton – and that’s just her hair.

25 years ago today over at Yankee Stadium was the famous George Brett pine tar incident.

It was the most over-the-top, out-of-control, outburst by a jock until Rosie O’Donnell joined The View.

25 years ago today over at Yankee Stadium was the famous George Brett pine tar incident.

Things have changed a lot since then. These days the only pine tar you’ll find at Yankee Stadium is in the hot dogs.