MONDAY: This week here in New York they’re having the big Westminster Dog Show.
Everybody in New York has dog show fever. Earlier today Angelina Jolie adopted a schnauzer.
MONDAY: This week here in New York they’re having the big Westminster Dog Show.
Everybody in New York has dog show fever. Earlier today Brian McNamee admitted to injecting steroids in Roger Clemens’s dog.
MONDAY: This week here in New York they’re having the big Westminster Dog Show.
The dogs in the show get first class treatment. In fact, they’re the most pampered dogs in the city, other than the Knicks.
MONDAY: Today I saw a sure sign that the dog show is in town.
Down in Times Square I saw a German shepherd picking up a French poodle.
MONDAY: The writers strike finally came to an end over the weekend.
The writers got a pretty good deal. Here’s what they got: residuals for online content, higher payments for DVD sales and no more groping by Regis.
MONDAY: Last night here on CBS they had the Grammy Awards.
Amy Winehouse performed live from London, so, for one night, I wasn’t the craziest diva on TV.
MONDAY: Last night they here on CBS had the Grammy Awards.
Kid Rock won a Grammy for best performance by one of Pamela Anderson’s ex-husbands.
MONDAY: Last night here on CBS they had the Grammy Awards.
Believe it or not this show was nominated for a Grammy Award – we were nominated in the category biggest waste of a band.
MONDAY: Mitt Romney dropped out of the presidential race.
So now that Mitt is out that means the candidate with the best suits is Hillary.
MONDAY: Barack Obama swept all the Democratic primaries over the weekend.
More bad news for Hillary: earlier today Bill endorsed Obama.
MONDAY: Hillary Clinton shook up her campaign staff after losing all of the primaries over the weekend to Barack Obama.
Yesterday she fired her campaign manager and the guy who makes her pantsuits.
MONDAY: It was on this day in 1863 that General Tom Thumb got married right here in New York City.
Do you remember General Tom Thumb? He was the world’s most famous dwarf, until Tom Cruise.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Jeb Bush turns 55 today.
I know a certain brother who owes him a big present.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Jeb Bush turns 55 today.
His friends threw him a big party and a girl jump out of a crooked voting machine.
MONDAY: Celebrity birthdays: Burt Reynolds turns 72 today.
Earlier tonight on Bravo they had a lovely retrospective of all of his hairpieces.
FRIDAY: Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and I spent today doing what I do every year on the day after Valentine’s Day – apologizing.
FRIDAY: Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and I swear every year Valentine’s Day gets more expensive.
Between the candy, the flowers and dinner I must’ve spent several hundred dollars – and that doesn’t even include the cost of the sex.
FRIDAY: Down in Times Square the hookers are already offering their President’s Day special.
For $50 they’ll ratify your constitution.
The Yankees announced their new ticket prices for this season and the prices are way up.
Here’s how expensive it’s going to be at Yankee stadium this year: the hot dog stands will now offer financing.
The Yankees announced their new ticket prices for this season and the prices are way up.
Here’s how high the ticket prices now at Yankee stadium: the only people who can afford go to a Yankees game are the Yankees.
The Yankees announced their new ticket prices for this season and the prices are way up.
It’s understandable; after all, $200 million weak hitting infielders don’t pay for themselves.
Out in Chicago this week Oprah opened her own store.
Apparently Oprah decided that there was some part of the economy that she didn’t own.
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