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January 30, 2008.
  Web Posted at: 10:34 am UTC

John Edwards officially dropped out of the presidential race today.

He says he wants to spend more time with his hair stylist.


Rudy Giuliani finished third in Florida yesterday and earlier today he quit the race.

He shouldn’t quit just because he lost Florida. Hell, it didn’t stop George Bush.


Rudy Giuliani finished third in Florida yesterday after he pinned all his hopes on winning there.

Experts say he was missing the one thing that’s critical to winning Florida: his brother wasn’t the governor.


Hillary Clinton won the Florida primary yesterday but Barack Obama has won another endorsement from a key Democrat.

Earlier today he was officially endorsed by – Bill Clinton.


Celebrity birthdays: Vice President Dick Cheney turns 67 today.

Friends say he had such fun at his party that he couldn’t wipe the sneer off of his face.


Celebrity birthdays: Vice President Dick Cheney turns 67 today.

He had a big party and played his favorite birthday game: shoot the tail off the donkey.


Celebrity birthdays: Vice President Dick Cheney turns 67 today.

He celebrated with a few close friends and cardiologists.


Mike Wallace had triple bypass heart surgery earlier this week.

I, of course, had a bypass a few years ago and it was tough, but the good news is I survived not getting the Tonight Show.


Mike Wallace had triple bypass heart surgery earlier this week.

His doctors say he’s doing great and they still expect him to live longer than me.


Good news: pedestrian deaths here in New York City are at an all time low.

It’s all because Mayor Bloomberg made hitting a pedestrian a ticketable offense.

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