It’s Fleet Week here in New York City.

Down in Times Square the hookers are offering their annual Fleet Week special: for $50 they’ll swab your poopdeck.

Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter Mary gave birth to a baby boy yesterday.

Friends say Cheney was so happy he couldn’t wipe the sneer off of his face.

Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter Mary gave birth to a baby boy yesterday.

During the labor and delivery Mary’s partner, Heather, was in the waiting room smoking with the other dads.

Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter Mary gave birth to a baby boy yesterday.

Right after the baby was born they brought her to her mom’s bed and then they brought the baby to Cheney’s bed in the cardiac unit.

Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck got into a big fight yesterday on The View.

You know what that means – Rosie’s back on steroids.

Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck got into a big fight yesterday on The View.

Elisabeth played it smart. When Rosie got really mad, Elisabeth just lied down and played dead.

Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck got into a big fight yesterday on The View.

Things only calmed down after Joy Behar shot Rosie with a tranquilizer gun.

Celebrity birthdays: the Brooklyn Bridge turns 124 today.

The Brooklyn Bridge is so well traveled that the only thing that’s had more people on it is Paris Hilton.

Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher say they’re in love and are moving in together.

They can’t get married until his divorce is final – or until she kills his wife.

U.S. health officials are checking for shipments of tainted toothpaste coming from China.

The good news is officials in England say they haven’t found and any tainted toothpaste in the country – or any other toothpaste.