Worried about global warming? Do visions of tropical vacations in Buffalo freak you out? Well, worry no more friends – GWB is on it! That’s right, next week President Bush is giving his big State of the Union address (Laura is letting him stay up late that night) and he’s supposed to talk global warming. Now that he’s gotten that annoying Iraq thing solved with his new plan, he’s ready to bring an end to global warming – and Al Gore movies. Once again, W has made topical monologue joke writing as easy as shooting retarded fish in a barrel. Check out this little diddy that I wrote and that Dave Letterman told on Wednesay night’s Late Show (1/17/07):

President Bush has the answer for global warming.

He’s going to send 20,000 troops to the sun.

Click here to hear it live (format: MP3, size: 146kb) or check it out on here.

Don’t laugh too hard – he might actually be planning something along those lines.

If you ever find yourself writing monologue jokes for David Letterman and you’re having a tough time coming up with material here’s a hint: find a way to take a current event story and make the punch line about Yankee Stadium hot dogs. Odds are good Dave will bite and use it on air. Exhibit A, the joke that I wrote and Dave told on air back on 4/11/06:

Earlier today the Yankees played their home opener at Yankee Stadium.

It was an emotional moment when they introduced the old timers – and those were just the hot dogs.

Exhibit B: the joke I wrote last week that Dave told on the Late Show last Friday (1/12/07):

The Yankees have traded Randy Johnson back to the Arizona Diamondbacks.

So I guess now the oldest, most overpriced things in Yankee Stadium will be the hot dogs.

Click here to hear it live (format: MP3, size: 135kb) or check it out on here.

Hot dogs are funny.