It’s always nice to add a new celebrity to the list of folks who I’ve written jokes about and which have made it on TV. Last night a new one made the list: Snoop Dogg. That’s right – the kids love him and he was great in Starsky & Hutch. He’s also a good source of joke material, like the one I wrote that David Letterman told on Monday’s Late Show (10/30/06).

Snoop Dogg has been arrested for drug possession.

He says he’s going to fight it; he’s going to pleade not-g’izzle.

Click here to hear it live (format: MP3, size: 140kb) or check it out here.

Fa’shnizzle!

I’m pleased to announce that I’ve recently added another late night talk show to my roster of freelance monologue joke writing clients: Last Call with Carson Daly. That brings the grand total of shows willing to pay me for jokes to (hold on here) two! That means if I knuckle down real hard and crank out enough broadcast quality material I can now make enough money to buy … lunch … on most days … or, at least, on some days … if I don’t get a cookie for dessert … or a beverage.

Anyhow, for those who don’t know about the show (and, really, I’m sure that’s a very small number of people), Last Call is on after Conan O’Brien on NBC. That’d be 1:35am for most of you. I started submitting jokes last week and on this past Wednesday night/Thursday morning’s show two of the three jokes Carson told in his monologue were mine.

First he told this one:

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie reportedly spoke recently for the first time in over a year.

Sources say it was a short but extremely dumb conversation.

then this one:

Scientists recently announced that they’ve discovered the 3 million year-old skeleton of an ape-like human ancestor.

So far they’ve determined that this species was able to walk upright, climb trees and get elected governor of California.

Click here to hear it live (format: MP3, size: 435kb) or check it out here.

So be sure to start watching this Last Call show, in addition to Dave. Who needs sleep anyways?

When that goofy-haired North Korean dude decided to test a nuclear weapon last week, there was an orgy of late night talk show monologue joke writing opportunities. One obvious angle: President Bush’s well documented inability to pronounce the word nuclear. Ergo and therefore, behold the proverbial joke that writes itself, which I submitted to David Letterman and which he told on Monday’s Late Show (10/09/06):

North Korea recently tested a nuclear weapon.

President Bush said it’s OK, just so long as they don’t conduct a nuculer test.

Click here to hear it live (format: MP3, size: 147kb) or check it out here.

Stay tuned: this story has legs!

All this nice fall weather we’ve been having here in the northeastern United States isn’t only good for the spirits, it’s also good for the bottom line. For the second time in a week I wrote a joke about the fine fall weather that David Letterman told on the Late Show. This latest one was on the Tuesday (10/3/06) show:

It was a beautiful day today in New York City.

It was so nice today that ex-Congressman Mark Foley was sending inappropriate emails to Al Roker.

Click here to hear it live (format: MP3, size: 102kb) or check it out here.

Let’s see, two jokes with pedophile references and neither one is about Michael Jackson. How queer!