Rap star Heavy D says he's lost 135 pounds.
He did it for health reasons – so he'll be a harder target for other rappers to shoot.

Rap star Heavy D says he's lost 135 pounds.
He did it for health reasons – so he'll be a harder target for other rappers to shoot.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is reportedly leaning against running for governor of California, citing concerns about his family.
He'd rather be at home so he can keep an eye on his kids – and keep uncle Ted away from his liquor cabinet.
NFL training camps have opened around the country.
Everybody's excited about the start of the football season. Even the fans in Detroit are excited to root for a team that can't lose more than 16 games.
A number of firms that Kobe Bryant represents have said they will continue to honor his endorsement contracts.
In fact, he's picked up some new endorsements since this all came about, like one for his jeweler.
Things in California keep getting worse for Gray Davis.
In fact, I heard that he's taken to changing his location every 2-4 hours.
Shortly after one source close to Arnold Schwarzenegger reported on Monday that he would not run for governor of California, another source said he had not yet decided whether to run.
I wish Arnold would make up his mind. He's in and out more often than Bill Clinton.
U.S. soldiers captured one of Saddam Hussein's bodyguards on Tuesday.
It looks like Saddam is going to need a whole new set of bodyguards soon – a set of guys to guard his body.
U.S. forces searching for Saddam Hussein have taken DNA samples from several locations in Iraq to see if he had been there recently.
The DNA samples indicate that he was not only there, but he also had a few interns with him.
Bob Hope died Sunday night at the age of 100.
President Bush said he was sorry to hear the news and that the country would never forget a man who could find such a big diamond.
U.S. military officials said over the weekend that they believe they are close to capturing Saddam Hussein.
Apparently, we missed him by (Maxwell Smart impression) THIS much.
I was watching a WWII special on the History Channel this weekend. They had shots of people in Paris cheering wildly as Americans entered the city.
No wait, that was the Tour de France finale.
Lance Armstrong won his fifth straight Tour de France on Sunday. Armstrong rides for the U.S. Postal Service team.
Riding for the Post Office really helped make him a fast rider – he was always running away from crazed coworkers.
Lance Armstrong has become one of the greatest cyclists ever. All his success, though, has made life a little harder for his siblings. For example, it's been particularly hard on his brother, Stretch.
Mick Jagger turned 60 on Sunday and celebrated with a private party in Prague.
I heard the party was pretty wild. The tables were covered with mounds of Viagra and Metamucil.
The U.S. military allowed journalists to videotape the bodies of Saddam Hussein's sons Uday and Qusay on Friday after they had been cleaned up and prepared for viewing.
NBC is already planning a reality show based on this called “Queer Eye for the Dead Tyrant Guy.”
U.S. officials said the bodies would be stored at the airport until a family member came forward to claim them.
Clever, but I don't think Saddam is going to fall for that.
President Bush says that the economy is turning around
He said that so long as Kobe Bryant keeps buying “forgive me” gifts for his wife, things will be booming again in no time.
Did you hear this story? Kobe Bryant was seen buying a $4 million diamond ring for his wife just a few days after she found out he'd cheated on her.
What a coincidence! A few days after Hillary Clinton found out Bill had been cheating on her, he was seen hitting on a woman wearing jewelry.
The judge in the case has issued a gag order on everybody involved with the case.
He said if he sees one more Kobe Bryant press conference with his wife holding his hand, he's going to gag.
It appears that Arnold Schwarzenegger is backpedaling from the idea of running for governor of California.
I don't blame him. He's already busy enough trying to revive one dormant economy – his movie career.
NBC announced on Thursday that it would spin-off a series for Joey from “Friends” after that show ends its run next year.
They're going to put Joey in a new environment and new situations – like meeting an African-American.
Michael Jackson says he opposes a proposed law that would make it a felony to illegally download music over the Internet.
Of course he's against it. Most of the people who would go to jail are kids.
Saddam Hussein's sons Uday and Qusay were killed by U.S. troops on Tuesday.
With them dead, that means the U.S. can focus on getting the biggest fish of all: Martha Stewart.
The U.S. government says it will provide proof that Saddam Hussein's sons are really dead.
And if there's one thing that will convince the rest of the world, it's proof from the U.S. government.
Doctors in Austria have performed the first ever tongue transplant.
Finally, there's hope for people with poor taste.
Researchers from the University of Utah have concluded that talking on a cell phone and driving is more dangerous than driving drunk.
The scary part is the study was based on a survey of Amtrak engineers.
Government officials here in California are now faced with the task of verifying the 1.6 million signatures gathered by the campaign to recall Gov. Gray Davis.
This is a real crisis. The government says it may actually have to ask its employees to do some work.
Australian astronomers have come up with a count of stars in the known universe – 70 sextillion.
Which is perfect, since it's also the number of Bill Clinton's former girlfriends.
To give a sense of perspective, that's about 10 times as many stars as grains of sand on all the world's beaches and deserts.
But still less than the number of Starbucks.
Italian scientists have found that people who eat lots of pizza have reduced risk for some types of cancer.
That's bad news for all you Rush Limbaugh haters out there.
So, within the last week, researchers have told us that lots of ejaculation and lots of pizza help reduce the risk of cancer.
Now I see why Bill Clinton had Monica Lewinsky deliver him all those pizzas.
The woman was accused Kobe Bryant of sexual assualt said watching him deny the charges on television made her sick to her stomach.
Just think how the Laker fans felt watching him in the playoffs this year.
The wife of 72-year-old Rupert Murdoch gave birth on Thursday to the couple's second child.
Even Anna Nicole Smith was shocked at this news – you're supposed to marry the rich guy AFTER he's too old to reproduce.
Kobe Bryant was officially charged with sexual assault on Friday.
That means that if he's convicted, even the Colorado State Penitentiary basketball team will be better than the Clippers.
A U.S. company has begun selling microchips that can be implanted under a person's skin and used to confirm health history and identity.
Since it goes under your skin, they're decided to name it the Martha Stewart chip.
The Clinton's are publishing a cookbook of their favorite recipes.
Hillary has contributed the recipes for all of her favorite dishes to throw at Bill.
Jennifer Lopez said in a recent interview that said she never slept with Ben Affleck until after she separated from her then husband Cris Judd .
I believe her on this. She's certainly done this sort of thing enough times now to have it pretty well down.
A new government study finds that the percentage of kids aged 6 to 18 who were overweight has almost tripled in the last 25 years.
On the bright side, they're less likely to get hit on by Michael Jackson.
Researchers in Australia have found that men who masturbate frequently are less likely to develop prostate cancer.
I don't know about prostate cancer, but it sure would've helped Kobe Bryant.
Economists are now saying that the recession actually ended in 2001.
Great. Now George W. Bush can say that, after he was elected president in 2000 fair and square, he not only did he remove weapons of mass destruction from Iraq but he also brought the country out of recession.
Another audiotape of Saddam Hussein has been broadcast on Arabic television.
Another audiotape? This guy's got more bootlegs than the Grateful Dead.
Screeners at the Orlando International Airport last Friday found a loaded handgun hidden inside a stuffed teddy bear belonging to a 10-year-old boy.
The boy's family tried to pass it off as a new type of Vermont Teddy Bear – the Charlton Heston bear.
Karl Malone and Gary Payton signed contracts with the Los Angeles Lakers as soon as they were eligible to, just after midnight on Wednesday.
They only signed so fast because they thought they were signing the Gray Davis recall petition.
A California group has filed a lawsuit to stop a Republican-led drive to recall Gov. Gray Davis, saying organizers obtained petition signatures illegally.
An illegal Republican led drive? Isn't that redundant?
A doctor in Hawaii has been sued for malpractice after inserting a piece of a screwdriver into a patient's spine.
That's the problem with medical care in this country; the patients are always getting screwed.
How about instead of suing the guy we send him over to France and see if he could help stiffen their spines.
The Los Angeles Dodgers signed 44-year-old Rickey Henderson on Monday.
I don't want to say that Rickey's old, but he's got jock itch older than most of his teammates.
Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh will be a commentator on ESPN's “Sunday NFL Countdown” this season.
The Democrats tried to counter this by getting Al Gore on the show, but ESPN only wanted to give him the role of the goalpost.
Arnold Schwarzenegger said on Monday he would decide within the next month whether to run for California governor.
Arnold has to choose between working in a fantasy world where he recites lots of made-up stuff in front of a camera – or staying in acting.
Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant on Sunday denied that he is guilty of sexual assault and said he “would never do something like that.”
Sounds like his defense hasn't improved much this offseason.
A latex company in China has made the world's largest condom and used it to cover a 20-story, phallic-shaped hotel to mark U.N. World Population Day.
The event almost had to be canceled when organizers had trouble getting the packaging open in time.